


I'll Never Find Another You

by Remadra



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Live VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Benrey meets Gordon pre-transition, Body Horror, I'm speedrunning writing this fic, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Trans Gordon, You Choose Your Soulmate, accidental self injury, discord chat decided tommy has 2 boyfriends and thats the good stuff, i guess?, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:37:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 38,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remadra/pseuds/Remadra
Summary: An escaped Black Mesa experiment found in park by local teen. What happens next will shock you.[Hiatus]
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Darnold/Forzen (Half-Life), Tommy Coolatta/Darnold, Tommy Coolatta/Darnold/Forzen, Tommy Coolatta/Forzen
Comments: 574
Kudos: 853





	1. sporterize me, gordon

**Author's Note:**

> Operation Speedrun; Slowburn is a Go
> 
> I bet myself 7 dopamine I couldn't speedrun a slowburn fic  
> I'm not even reading what I've written Good Luck plot sounds like a future me problem

He knew there were other kids in the park, but they didn’t usually pay attention to him. This girl was different. She walked right up to him and handed him a ball.

“Can you pitch?”

“Yeah, maybe, if you’re not, like, gonna swing and miss.”

He leaned the bat she handed him against the tree. She squared her shoulders, grinning, and started pulling back the waves of curly hair that had fallen out of her ponytail.

“I won’t miss. The diamond’s open, so we can use that. Get ready to duck though, sometimes I hit the pitcher without meaning to, and I don’t wanna get in trouble for giving you a black eye or something.”

She quirked a brow at the barking laugh, taking back the bat.

“You won’t get in trouble. I can’t get hurt.”

“Everyone can get hurt, weirdo. Come on, let’s go before someone takes our spot.”

She tossed him a glove and set off in a dead sprint, leaving him behind to fumble with the equipment. He managed not to drop it, chasing after her into the sunny grass. The bright light hurt, making him shade his eyes against the sun.

She was already waiting at the home plate, pulling on a cap from a duffle bag at her feet. She turned to him, pointing at the pitcher’s mound.

“You gonna stare or we gonna play?”

“Can’t see really, too much… sky out here.” He shook his head, trying to clear his vision, but all that did was make him dizzy. He set the ball down to scrub at his eyes. She huffed, and he heard gravel crunch under shoes until-

He felt his head jerked down, hair pressed tight to his scalp-  


“You can borrow my hat. Come on, let’s play.”

He watched her run back to the plate and tap the bat on the ground.

“I’m ready!”

It was still bright, but at least he could see her. She looked… impatient, practically bouncing on her toes as she waited for him. He picked up the ball, rubbing the red threads with his thumb. It was funny, watching her turn serious, eyes narrowing.Yeah, he could do this now. He threw as hard as he could.

The crack of the bat startled him, making him jump as the girl dropped it and started running.

“What are you doing?”

She stopped on a dime, spinning around to shoot him a look. “Making a home run if you don’t grab the ball and tag me. Haven’t you ever played baseball?”

“No?”

“Oh.” She crossed her arms, seeming to come to a decision. “Okay, so, it’s not really baseball, since there’s only us, but you pitch and I have to make it all the way around the diamond before you grab the ball and tag me. Then it’s your turn to bat, and I gotta tag you.”

“Cool.”

She yelped as he flashed past, headed towards the ball. “Hey! Give me a warning!”

His shoes slipped on the gravel as he changed direction, ball in hand and eyes set on his target. She paled, almost tripping as she scrambled towards the next base, with the boy hot on her trail.

She managed to gain a few feet ahead at third base, when he seemed to forget that he had to turn and carried on past her. She felt the swish of air as the ball barely missed her arm, and shrieked as she skipped over the home plate.

“Sa-oompf!”

He tackled her, rolling across the gravel with her. Somewhere along the way he’d lost the ball, but it didn’t matter as he watched her laugh. It was ugly, snorting, cackling laughter, but it was suddenly his favorite sound. He sat up, staring at his shoes as she propped herself up on her elbows, shoulders still shaking.

“I win.”

“What? No, I made it to home before you ran into me!”

“Sounds like you’re lying. I tagged you.”

She shook her head, grinning. “You wanna try batting now? Come on, I promise not to tackle you.”

She jumped up, holding out her hand to pull him up.

“What’s your name, anyways?”   
He didn’t think that far ahead.

“Uh, I don’t, uh.”

Something seemed to shift between them. She nodded sagely, grabbing his arm to lift.

“Oh. It’s okay. Me too. You can call me Freeman.”

“Huh?”

“It’s my last name. I like it better than my first name, anyways. What’s yours?”

He needed two names? He scrambled, thinking hard. The lead scientist, what was his name?

“Uh. Boper.”

Wait, was it? It was something with a B, at least.

“Oof, yeah, okay, your first name must  _ really  _ suck if your last name is Boper and you  _ still _ don’t want to be called whatever you’re called. No offense, man.” Freeman brushed off her knees, frowning as an adult approached them.

“That’s my mom, I gotta go. Will you be here tomorrow?”

“I’m always here.”

Freeman shoved the bat, glove and ball into her duffle, pulling the strap over her shoulder.

“Uh, keep the hat. Looks good. I have another, and I’ll… see you tomorrow?” She brushed some of her hair back, not quite meeting his eye. He could’ve sworn his brain lagged when she stuck out a hand. He grabbed it, letting her shake it, and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Freeman.”

“Likewise, Boper.”

He watched her go, tugging the hat a bit farther down over his face and coughing up a bit of wavering yellow.

He could hear the kid in his head already, the one from the lab, that made up rhymes to remember the meanings of the colors he spat out.

_ When yellow’s unsteady, I miss you already! _

“Yeah right. What do you know? You don’t even have it. You’re not even here.”

He kicked up some dust, wiping his Voice off his face.

He couldn’t wipe off the smile though.

One week out, and he already had a friend.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 67 minutes let's go dudes i let my brother name everything


	2. shark boy got nothing on benrey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than one chapter?? In my fanfiction?? It's more likely than you think!

“I like your dress,” he said, stumbling over his words as much as his feet were. Freeman shrugged, picking at the hem as she walked up to the tree he’d been leaning on.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

He twisted his hands together, watching her crouch next to the ant hill he’d been poking at.

“Uh, call me Benrey. Not- forget what I told you. I’m Benrey.”

She glanced up at him, studying the way he shifted from one side to the other.

“Okay. Benrey. Kind of a weird name.”

He slouched, shoulders hiking up to his ears and hands quickly being shoved into his pockets. “Better than Freeman,” he muttered.She shook her head, fighting a smile. “No, I like it. It fits you. You’re weird. Did you just move here? I’ve never seen you around before.”

Benrey shrugged, and looked away again. Well, that was as close as Freeman was going to get to a yes. She just stared, squinting at him as if she were planning… something. It made him uneasy. A distraction- humans were easy to distract.

“Whatever, you wanna see some slugs?”

“Gross. Show me.”

Freeman followed him further into the trees than he expected her to. Even when he vanished behind a fallen pine to spit out bright orange, she was only a few steps away. Orange like Orange Crush means... something stupid, probably. Those dumb rhymes wouldn’t leave his head. It made it harder to keep his Voice down when he thought about them. He didn’t know what she’d think of his Voice. Maybe she’d think it was cool. Or she’d call him a freak and call-

“Hey Benrey.”

He turned around too fast and smacked himself in the face with a branch.

Freeman burst into giggles, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Sorry- not really, but look.” She lifted a stick, and on the end-

“Gross,” he echoed, staring at the slug in his face. “What’s your favorite color?”

“What are we, in kindergarten?” She tossed the stick off to the side, wiping her hands on her skirt.

“Maybe. What is it?”

“I guess I like… blue? I don’t really know, I haven’t thought about it since I was like five.”

She caught the strange look on his face, crossing her arms. “Look, man, I don’t really have a favorite. They’re just colors.”

“Huh? I meant the other thing.”

They walked a few more feet before she froze.

“Do you mean kindergarten?”

“What the fuck is that?” Benrey backtracked to face her again.

“You know, first year of school? Where they teach you colors and numbers and letters.”

The blank look on his face made her frown, one hand raising to tug at her curly hair.

“Did you never go to kindergarten? What, are you homeschooled?”

“Sure.” He didn’t know what homeschooling was. It made her stop asking questions though.

She glanced up, catching sight of the sun through the leaves. “Shit- I gotta get home.”

“Shit?”

“Yeah man, I’ll get in trouble with my mom- oh god, don’t tell her I swore. I’ll never hear the end of it. I’ll see you later, Benrey.”

For the second time in as many days, he watched her run away, and for the second time, he spat out a little yellow.

They fell into a pattern. Freeman would show up at the park every afternoon, Benrey would meet her at the edge of the trees, and they would decide what to do from there. He learned that Freeman liked baseball and math, like some kind of nerd, and she didn’t really like dresses, no matter if Benrey said they looked good or not. That day, she had shown up in a puffy dress, and immediately sought him out.

“Benrey, what do you think?”

“You look like a dandelion.”

“I know! My mom keeps finding these stupid things and buying them for me!”

“I like them.”

She deflated, kicking at the rocks Benrey had been piling up. “Really?”

He thought it was a compliment. Humans liked compliments, so why did Freeman seem so upset about it? Maybe she wanted to be insulted.

“They make you look like, uh, like one of those, hm, people with all the balloons and face paint.”

Her head shot up.

“Are you saying I look like a clown?”

“Yeah, those guys.”

“You ass!”

But she was laughing, and she smacked his arm and had to lean on his shoulder to keep from falling over. He grinned, and he let himself sway with her weight as she calmed down to snickers.

“You really are an ass.”

“Yeah, but you’re still my friend. What’s- uh, what’s it say ‘bout you? Huh? Little baby Freeman gonna stop coming? Yeah right. You like me too much to leave.”

“If you keep it up, I might just go home early.”

His mouth snapped shut, cutting off anything else he might have rambled about. Freeman reached up to grab his jaw, forcing his mouth open and imitating his voice. Poorly,

but he could tell that she was mocking him.

“My name’s Benrey Boper, and I call my best friend names, and I like-” He swatted her hand away, swallowing thickly. It took all his self control not to start spitting up his Voice.

“Stop, bro, that’s my face you’re messing with.”

She ignored him, reaching back up to poke his mouth with sudden interest.

“What’s this?”

Every last thought in his head screamed to run and never look back. She’d seen the Voice and he was going back to-

“Dude, you have fucked up teeth. What are you, some kind of shark?”

“Huh? Wha- yeah, and if you don’t get your hand out of my face, I’ll bite it.”

Freeman withdrew her hand quickly, face turning ashen. He ran his tongue over his teeth, feeling the points. That was it? He scrubbed his sleeve over his mouth, trying to be subtle as he checked for any vivid colors. Nothing. She really was just trying to cop a feel with his teeth.

“It’s just a thing, man. Why, don’t you have fucked up teeth, huh? Little stinky Freeman have perfect teeth? Bet you needed to get them pulled or some shit. Serve you right.”

She scowled at him, crossing her arms defensively. “So what? Pretty much everyone ends up with braces or something. You’d need a whole team of surgeons to fix that mess.”

He sat back against their tree, lacing his fingers across his stomach. Freeman joined him on the ground after a moment, kicking off her sneakers and pulling the band out of her hair. He watched as she carded her fingers through it, letting the tight curls spring back into place.

“Hey.”

“Hey?”

“Can I touch your hair?”

She gave him a look, one that she usually saved for when he asked something that seemed to be common knowledge.

“Uh, sure I guess? Don’t pull it, or I swear to god I’ll kill you.”

With that, she twisted around. He scooted up behind her, picking up a handful of the ends and letting them slip between his fingers. They were surprisingly heavy for how much they bounced when Freeman ran. He couldn’t figure out how one band could hold it all when one of his hands couldn’t even wrap around the mass of hair. Benrey tried combing it like Freeman had, letting it fall over her shoulders and down her back.

“Cool.”

He pinched her neck. She whipped around, hand ready to smack him, but he was already back against the tree and out of range.

“You- you dick! See if I let you touch my hair again!”

“Freeman gonna cry that I poked her, huh? Come over here and fight me.”

She stood up, grabbing her shoes and brushing off her dress.

“I’ll get you back later, jerk. My mom wants to visit my grandpa today, so I gotta go.”

Freeman started tying her laces, and Benrey watched the hair fall around her face. He liked it down. He could tell her it was pretty. She was proud of her hair. He should say it.

He kept his mouth shut.

“Bye, Benrey. I’ll bring something for you tomorrow.”

“See ya later, Freeman.”

She didn't show the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 69 minutes nice


	3. the g stands for bastard

He waited under their tree for a week, arms crossed over his drawn up knees. Eventually, he had to move. Parents of the kids started talking, and looking at him strangely. Like how Freeman did when he said he didn’t have friends before her.

He didn’t like it.

Benrey stood, shaking off the fallen leaves from their tree. He was hungry. Freeman used to bring cans of soda and a bag of cheap donuts every now and then. He didn’t think he’d find any laying around the park. He spat out some Voice, ignoring the color. He already knew what he was feeling. He didn’t need the Voice to remind himself.

Whatever.

He didn’t need Freeman.

“Humans always leave, don’t they?”

He heard his joints crack with the sudden movement. That voice was familiar, the one from-

“ _ Get the fuck away from me! _ ”

The tall man simply stared down at him, pale blue eyes uncaring as Benrey snarled. He reached out, setting one hand on the brim of Benrey’s hat, pushing it down lazily to cover Benrey’s eyes. When he pushed it back up, the man in the suit was gone.

He felt a whisper of air against his neck.

He spun, swinging a clawed hand that was caught easily.

“Now, now,  _ Benrey _ , we don’t want to cause a... scene. Do we?”

He stopped trying to wretch his hand out of the man’s grip, pupils blown wide. He felt his chest constrict, warbling red pooling out of his mouth. It garbled his words, slurring his speech. He coughed and spit until his mouth was clear and he could speak again.

“How do you know what she calls me? What did you do to her?”

Man was the wrong word for this creature. The lips split into a smile, but it was all jagged edges and no mirth. Just an imitation of one.

“You will see Freeman again, quite… soon, Benrey. But we’ve been looking, for you, you see, and we’re very, ah, curious, on just  _ how _ you got out.”

Benrey glanced around, hoping that someone saw the thing squeezing his wrist. None of the parents that had openly stared even looked over at them. None of them were moving.

“Now, Benrey, calm down and, we can talk about this like, how should I say…  _ civilized _ people.” His hand was released. He rubbed the darkening skin, backing up until he hit the tree. Their tree.

“M’not going back.”

“I didn’t say where you would be... going, but know that what I say… is law, here.” The pauses in his speech grated on Benrey’s nerves. It made him clench his teeth. He glanced back up to the face, now with five eyes, no, six, there was another on his cheek, and spat Voice at the creature.

It wiped it off, disgust slipping through the emotionless mask.

“There’s no need for that. I’m not going to harm you, or your... associate.”

“She’s my  _ friend, _ ” he snapped.

It waved a hand, dismissing his anger. “Call it what you want. I’m simply here to, well, retrieve you. Tommy misses you, and we can’t have that, now, can we.”

Benrey hesitated, he knew it wasn’t a question of if, but  _ how _ , he’d be taken back.

“M’not going to the lab again. You can’t make me, I’ll get out again.”

He shrunk under the impassive gaze. It loomed over him, tapping one sharp nail on it’s crossed arms.

“I’m willing to… come to a compromise, if you return with me. I’m not interested, in lowering our numbers further, that is. There already are so few of us left. It would be a shame to… remove you from the equation, no matter how.  _ Tempting _ . I don’t know why Tommy likes you.”

Benrey tested his wrist, flexing his fingers. Even the simple hold had bruised deep. It was far stronger than Benrey, and by the looks of the still picture-like park, in more ways than just physical power.

“I want to see Freeman.”

“You will. Later. Are you going to come willingly? Or will I have to, ah, restrain you?” It turned it’s bored stare over to the children in the park.

Benrey got to his feet warily, glancing back one last time to where he had sat.

“Do you promise I’ll see her again?”

It’s attention flickered back to him. Exasperation.

“Eventually, one way, or another, you will meet again. Not if you, rather, rot here in the dirt. But if you join me. I can make it happen.”

He pulled the baseball cap off, turning it over in his hands.

Even if it took a while, he’d see Freeman.

"What's your name?"

It hesitated, thrown off by the question.

"Name?"

"Yeah. What do I call you?"

It hummed, seeming to come to a decision.

"Call me... Gman."

He pulled the cap back on, and he could just faintly hear the crack of a wooden bat as time started again.

“Fine. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50 minutes! a bit shorter but I didn't want to drag it into the next scene


	4. surprise adoption by the scp foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i know whats happening? no. does benrey? definitely not.

He fought off a grimace as the claws dug into his shoulder.

“Remember, _Benrey_ , Tommy doesn’t... need to know. About what we can really do.”

He managed to twist and face Gman, ignoring the tightening grip. “He’s the same thing as you.”

“Us, Benrey. The same as us. I can’t fathom, what he sees in you, but he was distraught. When you left. I can’t allow that, you see. He is the future of our kind. There is nothing without his… rather unique abilities.”

Benrey shrugged off the hand with more effort than he’d admit. “What? You mean how he reads the Voice?”

Gman’s facsimile of a grin reappeared.

“You’ll see.”

Gman knocked on the door in front of the two, pushing Benrey forward as it swung open.

“Dad! Look, I taught Sunkist how to walk like a human!”

Benrey gaped at the massive dog in the room, standing on its hind legs. It was taller than the teen in front of it, tail wagging as Tommy turned around. His yellow eyes brightened when he caught sight of the two.

“Oh- you found him!”

Gman shoved Benrey through the doorway, stepping into the dorm room. “Tommy, this is Benrey. He’s going to be your friend from now on.”

Tommy tilted his head, a confused smile taking over.

“Uh, Dad, we’re already- we _are_ friends. But, um, hi Benrey! I’m happy to see you again, um, out of the lab now!”

Benrey did his best not to wince at the mention of the lab.

“Hey, Tommy. Sick dog.”

Tommy faced back to Sunkist, signalling for the massive canine to drop down to all fours again.

“She’s not sick, she’s perfect, so she can’t get sick. I made her!”

“What.”

Tommy wrapped his arms around her, grinning as she licked his face. “See, I can make stuff, like, like how I made Sunkist. I really, really wanted to have her, and so I made her! Like how, um, if you want to say something, you say it, right? You use your Voice. If I want to make something, I make it! I just use my Thoughts! And some other stuff, and now I have Sunkist!”

Benrey couldn’t keep up, but Gman seemed proud. He sounded less bored than when he talked about Benrey, at least.

“That is… excellent work, Tommy. Now, I must go back to work. There’s quite the… mess to clean up, you see.”

Tommy waved as Gman closed the door on his way out. “Good luck, Dad! Benrey, come meet Sunkist! She doesn’t bite unless I tell her to, and I won’t tell her to bite you!”

He hesitated. The last time he’d seen a dog, he ended up in a tree with Freeman laughing at him. But even in the lab, Tommy never hurt him. Tommy never wanted to hurt anyone. He edged closer, hand out as far from his body as he could manage.

“Uh, good girl, Sunkist?”

Benrey’s blank look switched to revulsion as the big dog licked his palm.

“Gross.”

Tommy frowned, hand on Sunkist’s side. “She’s not gross, she’s perfect.”

“Licking shit is nasty, bro. Don’t know what else to tell you.”

The teen glanced at the door, eyebrows drawing together in worry. “Uh, Benrey, don’t let my dad hear you swear. He doesn’t like it.”

He was going to say something about how Tommy could do what he wanted, but instead, a much better idea popped into his head.

“Fuck.”

“Benrey!”

Tommy broke into nervous giggles, hand over his mouth. “Don’t swear in front of him then. Please?”

“Whatever. You got anything to do here? Promised me Playstation, bro. Let’s game or something.” Benrey shoved his hands in his pockets, dragging his feet over to Tommy’s couch. He’d been described this place so many times, it was easy to figure out where they were. Tommy’s dorm, in Black Mesa, where his dad worked.

And where Benrey was made.

“Oh,of course! Um, I’ve never had any guests but do you want something to eat? I have soda too!” Tommy let his dog go, and she wandered over to a dog bed bigger than

Tommy’s whole couch. Cushions on the floor included. Tommy started digging through a mini fridge in the corner, holding up a couple cans.

“Uh. There’s Sprite, not the cranberry kind, and I have Pepsi. I would’ve gotten more if I knew someone was coming over, but this is a surprise. Which is okay, because I like surprises!”

Benrey shrugged at that, pulling his feet up to tuck under his legs. He didn’t like how clinically _clean_ the facility was. It made him feel out of place.

He missed the park. He missed-

“I’ll take the Pepsi.”

Tommy sat down next to him, passing him a can and controller. He promised Playstation, and he was going to deliver. “I have lots of different games. Do you want to play Pixar’s Finding Nemo for the Playstation 2? I’m having trouble with the sea mines level, and I think you’d like it a lot!”

“Sure, Tommy. Whatever you wanna do, bro. I’m down.”

His quiet words were replaced with the tapping of buttons and sipping the flat drink. He didn’t think it was hard, the fish game was pretty simple, but Tommy cheered every time he passed a checkpoint. Hours passed like that, with Benrey playing whatever game Tommy handed him. All of them were easy once he had the button layout down. He didn’t even have to think much about what came next for most of them. They kept the same controls, the analogues never stuck when he pushed them- he didn’t know why he expected the controller to be shit. It was Tommy’s, and everything Tommy had worked perfectly. Benrey shot a glance over at the teen, absolutely entranced with watching Sub Zero beat up Scorpion. Tommy’s fingers twitched like he was the one playing against the computer.

“Do you want a turn yet, Tommy?”

“Oh, no, I like watching you play! You’re really good! You never get hit or anything in the games, it’s kinda amazing!”

“I don’t get hurt,” he mumbled, the words rolling out with wobbly golden Voice.

Tommy watched it float and disperse, fascinated.

“When yellow’s unsteady-”

“Don’t. It doesn’t mean anything this time.”

Tommy curled his hands into Sunkist’s fur. He hadn’t noticed the behemoth of a dog lumber over. She gazed at him with big, honey brown eyes. He stuck his tongue out at her. “Who do you miss, Benrey? Is it the scientists?”

“ _Fuck_ no. It’s none of your business,” he snapped, dropping the controller on the cushion between the two. Tommy reached to touch his shoulder, but he swatted the hand away, crossing his arms. He fought to keep his tone even, and his Voice from spilling out. It was easier when he calmed down, but he didn’t want to talk about it, not with Tommy.

“It’s not important. Just leave me alone about it.”

Tommy withdrew, picking up the controller to take a turn. “Okay. You don’t have to.”

“Good. M’not gonna.” Benrey pulled his knees up again, pushing himself as far back into the couch as he could. He watched Tommy get his ass kicked by the computer, laughing when his character was thrown across the screen. The silence between the boys wasn’t awkward, but there was a tenseness that let Benrey know that Tommy was going to bring it up later.

He didn’t know when, since Tommy didn’t have any clocks in his dorm, but there was a knock, and when Tommy got up to answer the door, he grabbed the controller to finish the quicktime event for his bro. Tommy spoke for a while, mumbling just a little too low for Benrey to pick up over the recorded gunshots. Eventually he shut the door, heading to lean over the couch’s back to shake Benrey’s shoulder.

“Come on, Benrey. Let’s go to bed. I’m tired.”

He peered up at the teen above, studying the shadows under Tommy’s eyes before pausing the game.

“Kay. Whatever, Tommy needs sleep like uh, some kind of baby, huh? S’cool, I’ll just hang around until you get up.”

Tommy twisted his hands, chewing on his lip. “No, uh, Benrey, I mean. You gotta go to your own room. I can’t sleep with other people around, it’s… weird to have someone awake when I’m asleep and it makes me feel uncomfortable. There’s a room across the hall for you, right across, so you’re not far away, but I can’t…”

Benrey swung his legs over the edge, stretching as he got up. “Yeah yeah, I get it. See you whenever you wake up, bro.”

“Thank you, Benrey.” Tommy’s relieved smile almost hurt to see. He knew it wasn’t personal, but still. No one could relax around Benrey. Except- nope, not thinking about her right now.

“Whatever. Night, bro.”

He stepped out, glancing down the empty white hallway lined with blank doors. It was crazy how anyone could find anything around here. Not even a name on Tommy’s door.

He shook off the feeling of being watched, creepy hallways always had that vibe, and opened the door to his new room. It was virtually the same as Tommy’s, with a couch and table, and in the back shoved against a wall there was a desk and chair next to a shitty bed.

He didn’t bother to kick off his shoes, collapsing on the covers once the door was closed. The only thing he did before closing his eyes was set his hat on the desk, just in reach.

Benrey fell asleep for the first time in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 69 minutes again heheh


	5. One Way Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If two people go on a date, and only one knows about it, it's stalking. But if two people are pen pals and only one knows about it, is that stalking too?" -my brother, half awake

Tommy passed another can over, watching Benrey bite through the metal and slurp the soda out. It was the routine they had fallen into, when Tommy wasn’t at the labs and Benrey didn’t feel like playing video games. They always hung out in Tommy’s room, where Sunkist could see Tommy. Benrey had never seen her leave the room, and he doubted the dog would even try if it weren’t for Tommy having to go work. Speaking of the dog, she wasn’t as awful as Benrey had expected her to be. She didn’t bark or bite. Even if she drooled on his shoes, it was hard to get upset.

It was getting hard to get upset about anything.

The white halls were numbingly empty, and every door that wasn’t his or Tommy’s room was locked. The door he had followed Gman through had vanished, as if it never existed at all. The hall simply had a dead end, and the other end had the door that Tommy would leave through. He didn’t bother asking Tommy about his work.

He didn’t bother with a lot of things.

He passed the Doritos back over to Tommy, idly scratching his arm. Maybe he was allergic to Sunkist and it was just showing up now. Tommy was talking, it was probably important, but he couldn’t bring himself to focus. His arm was fucking itchy.

“-right, Benrey?”

“Huh?”

Tommy frowned, setting the bag down on the table. “I asked if you’re feeling alright. You’re all spacey again.”

“That’s ‘cause space is cool. Get on my level,” he tried deflecting. Tommy knew that trick though.

“Is something wrong?”

Benrey huffed, waving his hands around in a decidedly chalant way. “No, we’re good, keep talking ‘bout your, uh, beyblades, man.”

He squirmed under Tommy’s concerned stare.

“Benrey, I stopped talking about Beyblade almost an hour ago.”

“Oh. No shit, huh?”

“No shit,” Tommy assured softly. He glanced at Benrey’s arm, the one that he was vigorously clawing at. “What’s wrong with your arm?”

“Just fucking itchy as fuck man, almost hurts, ‘cept I don’t get hurt.”

“Do you have a rash?”

Benrey scowled at that, yanking up his long sleeve. “Hell no, I’d notice that, see? It’s not red.”

Tommy’s eyes widened, mouth hanging agape. Benrey glanced down, it couldn’t be that intere- _what in the fuck?_

Black ink was crawling across his arm, messily, like someone writing in a hurry. It looked quite a bit like someone writing as well. In fact, it looked like actual writing. He turned his arm so he could read it.

_raphael could kick donatellos ass any day bc a sword would cut right through a wooden stick_

“Tommy, hit me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I’m dreaming, right? This is just some fucked up nightmare. Random magic writing on my arm is just, uh, some kinda weird deep down phobia that’s too cringe to admit to. Fuck, does it come off?” His scratching just turned his greying skin red. The words stood out more vividly against it.

Tommy’s squeak stopped him short, making his head shoot up to glare at the teen.

“What’s their name?”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, bro.”

Benrey barely leaned back in time to avoid the flapping hands when Tommy bounced off the couch. He rummaged around on his desk, tossing aside books and papers in a mad search. “-course, you met someone! Outside, right? When you left- and they must’ve been nice, or you wouldn’t care that much-” He mumbled for a few moments before leaping back into his seat, legs crossed and pen poised above a notebook.

Benrey’s look of terrified confusion seemed to snap him out of his excitement.

“Don’t you… know? It’s a big thing, Benrey. It’s like… super important to us.” He gestured between them.

“Nope. Tell me what’s up or I’ll… chew on your table. Please.”

Tommy shook his head. “No, come on, you gotta know, we _all_ know about it, when it happens. You find someone you really care about, and- and…” He waved his hands around his head, getting frustrated. “You connect with them, and like, you can _tell_ , and it-”

“Tommy, are you saying this is _that_ ” he pointed at the Black Mesa calendar on Tommy’s wall, “kind of bullshit? This is the big experiment. All the tests and-”

“No!” Tommy winced at his own shout. “It- it’s not, it’s an _us_ thing. You, me, and my dad. Except, it doesn’t- it’s not supposed to work here. On Earth. So it has to be big.”

Benrey stared at Tommy, folding his hands together. “I thought, bro, you didn’t know what we are? Gman made it sound like, like you don’t know all the stuff you guys can do? Except you made your dog, that’s not a thing other people do here. I thought maybe you just thought, fuck man, I don’t know what’s going on here. Gman acting all ‘you know what’s happening but keep it a secret’ and all this stuff about not telling you what we do, but man, even _I_ don’t know what we do. I don’t know what we are, just that we’re not the humans, and the scientist guys made me, and I’m not as tough, and humans don’t have Voice or Thoughts, and Gman thought I knew everything when he did all the talk at me-” He stopped ranting, watching Tommy scribble on the notepad. “Bro, what are you doing?”

“Taking notes.”

“Why?”

“You- see, I have a list. Things I know about Us. The things that make us different, and not like the humans. Dad doesn’t tell me, I have to figure it out myself. But you’re right, about some stuff, and I know it. Look.” He passed Benrey the paper, and Benrey frowned at it. God, reading was always hard. At least Tommy’s writing was better than the scientists’.

“Piss- pissick-”

“Psychic.”

“Right. I know that. Psychic aliens with... hummunid? No, uh, humanoid forms and shhhhape shhhh, um, shifting ab… abilities.” He let the notes fall to the cushions. “This isn’t a video game bro, we’re like, uh, lab experiments but levelled up. Aren’t you in science? Aliens are like, other planets and shit, and humans would notice them. We’re, like, escaped tube people. But not escaped, just from the tubes.”

Tommy shook his head, pointing at the list. “No, see, we aren’t. There’s no record of me being made here, just you. My dad’s not a scientist, not like me, but your file _does_ say he provided a creature they didn’t recognise, to make your uh, body. With lots of little eyes and teeth, but once they got the sample to make you, he took it away, and they didn’t even have a picture. And see- the thing changed when they saw it, so none of them could agree what it looked like. Besides the eyes and teeth. But he didn’t want them to see it, he wanted you to look like a human, but made out of whatever that creature was, instead. So you’d be able to do the same stuff as us.”

Benrey fought not to let his eyes glaze over. “How do you know this stuff, if you don’t know what we are? Gman not telling you anything either, bro.”

Tommy sighed, squeezing his eyes shut before letting his shoulders relax. “I know what we are, I just don’t know what we are? Look, the experiment- you- it was to see if more of us could be made, I think. We’re not from Earth, I know that. See, all of Black Mesa, it’s all about _Us_ . Most of it, at least. There’s stuff about- about terraforming planets, tests about portals, and about weapons. Big ones, huge missiles, like…”

Tommy’s hands dropped, exhausted.

Benrey started to get it.

“Gman, your dad, wants to make a psychic alien army and take over Earth. Like in uh, Saints Row IV, with the big alien dude taking over Earth, but we’re the president, and we gotta stop him, except we can’t because we’re inside a big prison, which Black Mesa is, like the simulation, so we need a Kenzie to break us out. Spoiler alert.” He waved his arm in Tommy’s face, drawing attention to the words. “What about this? What’s it got to do with aliens?”

The tired teen shrugged, picking his notes back up. “I don’t think he wants an army. I think he wants… to go back. Something happened, and we’re stuck here, and… that’s what you and I are for. We’re supposed to figure out how to get back. I think.” He pushed Benrey’s arm out of his face, giving his friend a Look. “This is part of being what we are. See, if you- we’re psychic, I’m pretty sure. It’s how Dad does the time stopping, when the whole world freezes. He just makes you _think_ time stopped, and he can make everyone else ignore it, so it seems like time paused.”

“He bruised my wrist,” Benrey interjected. “It was all dark and splotchy and shit.”

“But it’s all in your head, and time doesn’t really stop! And- anything that happens during it, like if you get hurt, he just makes you think that. Did you see any bruises when the time stop ended?”

Benrey was about to object, and point out that it hurt, but-

“No.”

Tommy grinned. “Right! No bruises! It was just a trick!”

Benrey shook his head. Shit got complex. “Still. The writing. What’s it gotta do with us?”

Tommy grabbed his wrist, much more gently than Gman had, and studied the words as he spoke. “It’s our thing. We’re psychic too, not just Dad. See, when we care, like, _really_ care about someone, we kinda… connect with them? This is where the shape shifting comes in, I’m pretty sure, even though we’re mostly human looking. Anything that happens to them, like getting hurt, or like writing on their skin, it shows up on us, to let us know if they’re okay. I- I think we shift to reflect them. Who is it?”

He scowled, taking his hand back.

“None of your business. How’d you figure this shit out? Gman didn’t tell you.”

The teen narrowed his eyes at Benrey, crossing his arms. “I’m not telling until you tell.”

It took almost half an hour for Benrey to break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90 minutes and i woke up in a cold sweat bc i forgot to post this


	6. cringe is dead so give me feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> between my bro and i we have 1 brain cell and its my turn again

“Her name’s Freeman.”

Tommy raised a brow at that, as if he didn’t quite believe Benrey, but he pulled up his sleeve nonetheless.

 _Test at 3:45p- ask prof for notes_ _  
_ _Work at 5p- remember badge!_

“One of the interns, one that I talk to a lot, he writes his schedule on his arm. His name’s Darnold, he’s really nice. He’s good at chemistry, and he has a scholarship to college since he works here. At Black Mesa, I mean. Not here, like, in the dorms.”

Benrey scoffed at that. “Literally we’re the only people here. Haven’t seen a single scientist this whole time.”

“Oh, you won’t! I asked Dad not to, uh, not to let them in. It’s just us up here. On this floor. We get this whole floor to ourselves. But, um, about- about Freeman, can you tell me anything else?” Tommy twiddled his thumbs, looking like the picture of innocent curiosity. It set Benrey on his guard immediately.

“...She’s as old as me. She might be older than me, actually. I think, uh, she’s fourteen?”

He looked around for the Playstation controller, hoping that he could distract Tommy and speedrun video games instead of being interrogated.

“From, you know, when they succeeded, you’re twelve, since you kinda formed. I don’t know if you’re older than that? Maybe? They worked on you for… a long time, before you became you. If that all makes sense, I mean.” Tommy narrowed his eyes at Benrey’s wandering attention. “What are you doing?”

“Wanna play games. You got Playstation, bro.”

“We’re not done talking about this, Benrey.”

He whined, making Sunkist turn her head. He tossed his head back to lay over the arm of the couch. “Wanna be done, please. Thank you. Time for Jak and Dexter. Gotta get those orbs.”

“Benrey.”

“I said please and thank you. What do you want from me?”

“I want information, _Benrey._ ”

His tone sent a chill down Benrey’s spine, making him snap up straight. Tommy’s expression had hardened, slit pupils in his yellow eyes showing none of the exasperation from earlier. Only analytical calm remained, razor sharp like his teeth, and focused on the being in front of him. Benrey’s mouth opened against his will, words tumbling out with icy blue Voice.

“She never told me her first name. Freeman’s the first person to ask for my name, that’s why she’s different from the other humans, Freeman’s special cause she saw me, even if I didn’t wanna be seen an’ everyone else ignored me, and she made me play baseball.”

Tommy blinked, and Benrey felt his muscles relax involuntarily. The elder’s face transformed from confusion to horror, pushing himself to the other side of the couch.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean- that wasn’t what I- I’m sorry- please don’t be mad- I don’t- not on purpose,” stuttered out, Tommy’s hands running over his face and clawing at his short hair. “It- Dad does it- I didn’t want to- just wanted you to pay attention- take it seriously-”

“Bro, what the _fuck_ was that.”

Tommy’s hands shook when Benrey pulled them away from his head. Tommy was going to end up hurting himself, stressing out and pulling his hair like he was. He flinched when Benrey levelled him with a frown. He wheezed through his teeth, jaw clenched tight and fighting to breathe.

“Bro- that wasn’t me talking. Is that what you meant by pissick?”

“Psychic,” he automatically corrected.

“Did you just pissick control me like some kind of Pokémon?” He was doing his best to calm Tommy down.

“Psychic. It’s pronounced psychic.” He could tell Benrey was freaking out.

“Dunno, dude, looks like pissick to me. You sure you know? I’m probably, like, older than you, I know a lot of shit. Got all those thoughts up in my skull, know what I’m doing.”

“No you don’t-”

“You ain’t breathing so funny anymore. I know what’s up. Checkmate, motherfucker.”

He was right. Tommy wasn’t hyperventilating. It was the shortest panic he could remember. He didn’t let Benrey get closer, drawing his knees up to his shuddering chest. His hand went to his sleeve, running over the writing on his own arm underneath. A few deep breaths later had him much calmer, eyes opening to steadily stare down his unblinking friend.

“I’m sorry. Again. I didn’t mean to do that- I never mean to, it just- I just want you to talk to me, when something’s wrong. And, something’s wrong here, I can tell, because you don’t talk, and you like to talk a lot without saying, but you’re not talking at all. I just want to know more, because no one tells me anything. Dad doesn’t- the scientists in the lab- it’s all a big secret from me, and you and me, we’re a team. I don’t like secrets. I get it if you’re mad.” He shook his head, letting his shoulders fall with resignation. “I’m sorry, Benrey.”

Benrey kept the frown, but turned it towards his own ink. “We’re cool. Not cool-cool, but we’re cool, bro. Don’t do it again, th-oomph!”

Tommy tackled him in a hug, squeezing tighter than Benrey thought the skinny frame was capable of.

“Dude, that’s cringe.”

“Oh- I’m sorry-”

“Come back, cringe is dead.” He pulled his friend close, resting his chin on the messy hair. With Tommy hunched over so much, it still wasn’t easy.

“What are you, like, eight feet tall?”

“You just- you shut up, you’re only a meter and a half tall. At least I can reach the top shelf.”

“Low fucking blow, bro.”

He felt Tommy’s shoulders shake with the laughter. “Every blow for you is low. Because you’re short.”

Yeah, that was good enough to let Tommy go. Benrey shoved him off the couch, grinning at the loud thump of Tommy’s limbs hitting the floor. It didn’t stop the teen from laughing. He waited for Tommy to get back to being serious, starting to regret his next decision.

“I’ll tell you about Freeman. On my own.”

“Really? Thank you Benrey, it’s going to help so much with figuring this out! What we are and what we do, I mean. I’ll tell you about all the experiments I help with, and what we’re doing, and I’ll get you your own games, and your own Playstation for your room so you don’t have to ask to use mine, even if you don’t ask, I’m sorry again, and-”

“Tell me ‘bout Darnold.”

“Huh?” Tommy looked up at him from his position on the floor, furrowing his brows and pursing his lips. “I mean, I can? He works here, he shares his lunch table with me, even if I only drink soda, and he’s nice. He’s friendly to me. Why do you want to know about Darnold?”

Benrey crossed his arms once again. “Why do you wanna know ‘bout Freeman?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s fair. I want to know why _this_ ,” he flapped his hand at the writing, “happens. I think mine’s because Darnold’s really nice, and I care about him because he’s nice, and it’s better than the others. Because he doesn’t have to be, he just wants to be. He wouldn’t lose his job, I wouldn’t do that, and he volunteers to work on the experiments with me. Even if he has his own work to do. And he’s really careful, and he listens really good to all the things I talk about even if I think it’s too much, and he always lets me talk. Which is so nice of him, right?”

Tommy’s eyes seemed to glaze over, gazing at something Benrey couldn’t see.

Oh.

_Oh._

Benrey’s smirk turned mischievous.

“What’s he look like?”

“He has curly black hair, but it’s real short, like almost a buzzcut, and big brown eyes that just light up when he talks about chemistry and how he’s gonna be a mixologist. He’s taller than you, and he’s human, so he’s not as tall as me, and his smile’s really soft, until he gets excited… oh. Oh, I think…”

Benrey watched his friend’s face turn red with realization. Tommy laid there for a few minutes, hands folded on his chest as he stared at the ceiling. The embarrassment turned to wonder, then contentment, and then to exhaustion. Benrey leaned down to help pull Tommy off the floor, knowing exactly what was going to happen. Tommy always got that look when he was about to kick Benrey out of his room.

“I’m tired. It’s been...a really long day.”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See you later, man.”

“Benrey?”

Tommy’s voice stopped him in the doorway, something about it making him turn around. Tommy’s mouth opened and shut a few times, starting and cutting himself off. He finally picked out what he wanted to say.

“Thank you. For-”

“No problem. We’re cool.”

“Cool-cool…?”

“Yeah, Tommy, we’re cool-cool.”

Benrey closed the door behind himself, leaning back on it with a sigh. Tommy had his big revelation, well, revelations plural, and Benrey went along with it as much as he could. It was tiring for more than Tommy. Benrey stumbled into his room, ignoring the lightswitch and changing his clothes, as usual, in favor of dropping his body on the messy sheets. He was glad that Tommy’s weird psychic thing drained all his energy.

One hand smacked his desk, swiping around until he felt a cloth brim. He pulled the baseball cap down, setting it on the pillow next to his head. He didn’t have enough mental power to think about his own entire situation there, instead raising his arm to look down at the offhand thought scribbled down. He thought about Tommy’s hypothesis, about why the writing happened.

“Stay safe out there, Freeman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 72 minutes aaaaa


	7. cant bully someone if they say no u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy has a deck of uno reverse cards

Benrey glared at Tommy’s arm. Why did Tommy get the useful notes? At least he could tell what was happening with Darnold. _Lunch at 2 w Tommy._ Meanwhile, all Benrey got was gibberish.

“Look at this shit, bro.”

“I’ve already seen it, Benrey.”

They were on the floor, coffee table between them. Tommy turned another page of his book, highlighting something that sparked a flurry of notes. Benrey flipped to another file in the stack on the table, swiping the papers out to start drawing in the folder. He ignored the blue growing on his skin, focusing on the red marker that had appeared that morning.

“Look at this shit, man. It’s just garbage. Oh, whatever letters equal whatever numbers, bluh bluh bluh. What, is Freeman some kind of fucking nerd? Is my Freeman a nerd just like Kenzie? Can’t break us out of the simulation without some nerd know-how, but what a fucking nerd.”

“Mmhm.”

“Bet she doesn’t even game. Doesn’t even have Playstation. Can’t believe I’m friends with a nerd that doesn’t game.”

“Mmhm.”

“Could at least give me some kind of clue, like, hey Benrey, I miss you bro, wish we could hang but just gotta wait for you to get back. Sorry for ditching you, wanna play Mortal Kombat Tetris? I’d say no, just to fuck with her, but then I’d like, pass a controller and maybe let her win one. Or not. Can’t believe Freeman just does nerd shit like math.”

“Mmhm.”

“Tommy are you even listening, bro?”

“Mmhm.”

“Do you have a big nerd crush on Darnold?”

“You’re not going to fluster me, Benrey.” Tommy tossed the book to the side, clearly done with trying to read it. At least while his attention was split. “You’ve already tried that. Can’t you- can you please help me out a bit here? If you want to talk about it, you could help me figure out if we can change our bodies on purpose, instead of, you know, the writing and stuff. It’s important.”

Benrey groaned, head hitting the table.

“Bro, reading is mega sucks. Can’t get the words right, they look all nasty. Moving on the page, all fucked up and backwards.”

“You’re kinda dyslexic.”

“Huh?”

Tommy huffed, turning back… quite a few pages in his notebook. How long had Benrey been zoning out this time? He slid it over, pointing at a few lines. “See, you- you aren’t supposed to read. Not English, at least. That was a surprise, to them, when they made you. Your eyes aren’t made to read, and your brain isn’t really either. Whatever you’re made of, your head’s full of a lot more than they expected. You’re, uh, like a predator, me too, but more closer to a predator than me, if you get it. You’re supposed to follow movements, not study still stuff. But how you talk about it- it’s close to being dyslexic. Words move and letters mixed up. Dyslexia makes it hard to read.”

Benrey squinted at Tommy’s cramped penmanship. It all looked the same to him.

“I thought I was just big stupid.”

“You’re not stupid!” Benrey jumped at Tommy’s quick response. He flattened his expression to as close to neutral as he could manage, making Tommy shift uncomfortably.

“You’re not stupid, you’re- you’re smart with other things. Like games. You’re good at patterns, and that’s a way to be smart. You just don’t read very well, but you’re good at other stuff.”

“Nah, bro, you’re smart.” He tried to blow it off, not believing his friend. The longer he sat in the growing silence though, the more he began to realize that he had somehow upset the other.

It was his turn to fidget under Tommy’s scrutiny.

“Trust me when I say you’re smart, Benrey. Please.”

“Yeah, ‘kay, I hear you. ‘M not stupid.”

Tommy brightened. Benrey knew he wasn’t stupid, per se, but he was no scientist. Not like Tommy, or apparently, _Freeman_ . He couldn’t even read the equations Freeman had written on their arms, and both of his friends had no problem changing it and doing things to it that made it even harder to understand. Everyone he knew was so much more intelligent.

“Just a lotta smart people ‘round, make me feel big dumb. I like playing video games.”

“We can- we can play games in a little bit, we’re almost done.” Tommy picked up the papers he’d scattered, flipping through them. “Um, Benrey, can you try something for me?”

“Yeah, I’ll smooch ya.”

“I- huh? No? What are- is this what it’s like to want to- to smack someone?” Tommy dropped the pages on the table so that he could put his hands on his hips. He tried to ignore Benrey’s sniggering, but he broke down as well.

“You’re an ass.”

That cut Benrey’s laughter short. Tommy froze, uncertainty clouding his face at Benrey’s sudden stillness. “Benrey,” he tried, hesitating. “I didn’t really mean you’re an- are you- is everything okay?”

“She, um, called me that. Last time I saw her.”

Tommy’s soft _oh_ cut deep. He could feel the pity coming off in waves. He’d already dug the hole of sharing about the world outside. Tommy probably deserved a bit of context.

“Not for- not because she was mad- she was laughing. With me. I called her uh, one of those dudes, with the weird clothes and big shoes, a clown. ‘Cause she was wearing a dress, bro, and it was funny. Looked like a dandelion, with all the little seeds, all puffy and she was- know Freeman doesn’t like dresses. Make her… uncomfortable. Don’t like to see her all upset though. Joking makes her forget it. You get it?”

Tommy had propped his chin on his hands, grinning like a lunatic as Benrey talked.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

He leaned over the table and reached up to grab Tommy’s shoulders, shaking him a bit and making him snicker. “Stop smiling! Don’t look like you’re scheming at me!”

Tommy raised a hand, fighting off the giggles. “I promise I’m not scheming! You’re just-”

“-no-”

“-so obviously-”

“-shut up-”

“-in looooooove!”

He cackled as Benrey slapped a hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the words. “Bro that’s cringe as fuck! Don’t say that, man, please!” Benrey was laying across the whole table, files and books knocked to the floor in his attempts to silence the teen.

“What did you say yesterday? Oh yeah! Cringe is dead!”

Benrey opened his mouth to object, but all that came out was a flood of his orange and pink Voice, pooling over the table and spilling over the edges.

“Shit.” He dropped Tommy, letting the teen flop to the floor as he leaned back and started scrubbing the colors off his face. Tommy grinned from the other side of the table. Benrey’s face had turned bright red, which was more life than Tommy had ever seen in the other creature’s skin.

“Pink lemonade and Orange Crush-”

“Do not you dare finish that, bro.”

“-means in love with face flushed!”

Benrey almost lept the table to throttle him, but a soft mouth had grabbed the back of his shirt, keeping him in place. He twisted around, glaring at Sunkist as the dog simply wagged her tail.

“Tommy, tell your dog to let me go.”

Tommy crossed his arms, smug victory radiating off him. “Tell me what you’re gonna do.”

“ _Tommy_ .”

“ _Benrey_ .”

“I’m going to kick your ass so hard it shows up on _Darnold_.”

He broke back into peals of laughter with tears running down his face. Benrey had no choice but to pout, held by Sunkist’s maw. He scowled at the other teen, muttering vague insults about Tommy’s morals. By the time Tommy could sit up, Benrey could have finished at least twenty levels of Pac-Man. Or, he thought he could’ve. Benrey had yet to play Pac-Man.

“You done over there?”

“Sunkist, drop it.”

Benrey shuddered as the dog’s mouth opened and his wet shirt smacked into the back of his neck. Gross.

“Cool. Now you’re all dead to me. Never talking to you again. Revoking your player two privileges. Only solo runs now, no co-op.”

Tommy shrugged, knowing damn well Benrey would never do that. He was about to tell him as much, when there was a knock on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 66 minutes and benrey finally has to face the music


	8. gamer fuel frenzy but without the sippage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was the hardest thing to write bc i wrote a different chapter instead,,, i thought i had this one done, so i had to check a lot to make sure i wasn't going to wreck myself for later

Whomever it was knocked again.

“Oh _fuck_ !” Tommy bolted up, grin frozen on his face. “Benrey, promise me you’ll be nice.”

“Huh?”

“I invited Darnold over and I didn’t tell you and he wrote it on his arm but I forgot because I don’t look because I try not to pry! I’m so sorry but I’ve been really busy and it slipped my mind so can you please be nice to Darnold so he doesn’t leave?”

“Gross. Fine. Since you said please and all.”

Before Tommy could stop him, Benrey had jumped up and was answering the door. He yanked it open to reveal the intern, one arm laden with a paper bag and the other holding a phone. Benrey scrutinized him, downright glaring once he realized how much taller Darnold was than him. Four inches was a vast difference, and not one that he appreciated.

“Hi! You must be Tommy’s friend, Benrey, right?”

 _And_ he was cheerful? Disgusting. There was only room for one happy person in Tommy’s dorm.

“Can- uh, can I see some ID, there? You got a badge or something?” No one would just carry their work badge outside of work, he could just shut the door on Darnold and deal with Tommy’s lecture.

“Sure! Just a moment, let me set this down, then I can get it for you.”

Oh for the love of-

Tommy pushed Benrey out of the way, taking the bag from Darnold and shooting Benrey a suspicious look. _Be nice, please_ , he mouthed. Benrey ignored it. Darnold passed over his badge, and Benrey flipped it around in his hands, pretending to search for any infractions. It was pristine, not even a scratch, and a picture of Darnold smiled nervously up at him from the plastic card.

“Yeah okay, come in. You’re cleared."

He heard the smack of Tommy's hand greeting his face when he stepped aside to let Darnold in.

As the intern greeted Sunkist, Tommy dropped the bag on the table and came back to grab Benrey's shoulders.

 _"Please_ , don’t try to scare him away. You’ve barely met him, and he’s- he’s big cool.”

Benrey finally raised his eyes all the way up at Tommy.

“You mean it? Real big cool, bro?”

“Yes! Darnold’s cool, really cool, and I think you’ll get along great! Just give him a chance, yeah?”

“Sure. Fine. Still had to check, make sure he’s who he says he is.”

Tommy pressed his lips into a thin line, but his musing was quickly interrupted by Darnold.

“I brought a bunch of flavors we’re trying out for the vending machines. Would you like to be my test subjects? I think I’ve replicated Baja Blast, or, at least, something very close to it!”

“Darnold, we’re off the clock, we don’t have to work right now.” Tommy let Benrey go, moving to the bag that Darnold was now rummaging in.

“This isn’t work, Tommy, this is… well, yes, it’s work, but it’s also going to be fun!”

Benrey stuck his tongue out at the idea. “Gross. Acting like, uh, homework from the school got assigned. Lame. Gonna have to skip, play that hooky, get some nachos instead. Gonna take the C in the class and play video games instead. S’all good, C’s average.”

That got him weird looks from the two. Tommy especially looked confused.

“Benrey, we never went to school? We- there’s no grades?”

Darnold had already moved ahead, pulling out quite a few bottles of colorful liquid. “You must’ve gotten some kind of schooling. It’s not like you were just _born_ knowing how to do things. That would be pretty crazy, and I know you guys aren’t exactly normal, but you’d have to be some kind of alien!”

“Oh, look, that one’s pretty! What flavor is that?” Benrey hissed at Tommy’s raised pitch, covering his ears and biting back his Voice. He knew what color it would’ve been. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to cram it back in his throat. _Red brightly searing, that hurts my hearing!_ It burned going down, but he couldn’t fight the anxiety of using it in front of a human, even if they knew what it was.

Especially not a scientist.

“That’s the new Black Mesa Baja Blast! Grab your silly straws, and get to sipping.” Benrey edged closer, lured by the neon sodas. Darnold had really gone all out with the coloring. The liquids were as vivid as his voice. Tommy had taken the proffered straw with glee, cracking open all the bottles once Darnold had stepped back.

Benrey snatched the one labeled _Classic Dew_ , turning the toxic green bottle over in his hands. “You make this shit, yeah? Why’d you make it all bright. Why not like water color, make it a mystery. Gonna have to sleuth your way through the flavors if you fuck up the name.”

“Maybe I just like colors, or maybe it enhances the flavor. Oh, Tommy!” Darnold turned to the other with shining eyes. “I know the next experiment we can do! A cross study of psychology and mixology.”

“Oh, of course, you’d have to find a way to make cola clear without affecting the chemical makeup of your recipe for that portion, but-”

“I can do it, I’m sure, I just need clearance-”

“I’ll get the permissions and paperwork for it-”

“I have all the dyes in the lab, it shouldn’t be too hard-”

“Then we can find out-”

“If the colors really change the taste!” They finished together.

Benrey retched into the bottle, catching the attention of the older teens. “Get a room. Fuckin’, uh, work nerds. Perfect for each other.”

Darnold stammered as Tommy’s face turned pink. He stepped away from the shorter scientist, reflexively grabbing a bottle and shoving a silly straw into it to busy his hands.

“Hey, Benrey? Shut the fuck up!”

“Just saying. You’re uh, a big nerd. Super big. Tall. Hah, got’em.”

Darnold crossed his arms self consciously. Suddenly, his eyes lit up and a smug grin crept onto his face. “Well, I could just take the soda and leave, if Benrey has a problem with nerds.”

“Whuh?”

“Since he doesn’t want to listen to us nerds talk, we could just go, right Tommy? Test out our new hypothesis in the labs?”

Tommy’s sly smile matched. “Oh, right, of course. We should be taking notes on this, and I can’t think of a better place than the lab with all these flavors we’re supposed to try out.”

“Benrey said to get a room, and we could. Just need to fill out form 26B, and reserve a lab, and we’d have all the time in the world to make new soda flavors. Too bad they’d probably never leave that room, though.”

“Yes, a real shame.”

Benrey grumbled, grabbing a couple of the stranger bottles that Tommy hadn’t touched yet. “Okay, fine, I get it. You’re not- don’t gotta go, just making fun of you science people in a nice way. Not being mean, you don’t gotta be mean. Don’t go. Thank you for soda. Nerds.”

That caught the two off guard, making them burst into laughter. Benrey scowled as best as he could while juggling his newly acquired treasures. Darnold finally sat on the couch, letting his hands drop onto Sunkist’s fur when she laid down in front of him. It was quiet for only a few minutes, the only sounds being Sunkist panting and appreciative chugging from Benrey.

“Bro, how’d you make a flavor that just tastes like yellow? Fuckin, uh, bright up pastels. Below neon, but light. Turned the saturation down a couple degrees.”

“I didn’t intentionally make anything new. They’re all soda flavors.” Darnold peered at the label, brows furrowed. “That’s just Mellow Yellow. Pass it over, it should taste closer to the classic Mountain Dew flavor, since they’re pretty similar. Not the same, obviously, but quite close.” Benrey had reached Darnold by the time he finished rambling, handing the yellow-green bottle over. Darnold pulled out his own straw, testing the fizzy drink.

“This is just Mellow Yellow, Benrey. Do you have synthesia?”

“The fuck is synthesizer-ah?”

Darnold gave it back, waving his hands around his head in an effort to help clarify. “When your nerves are crossed, so textures have sounds or sounds have flavors?”

Benrey shrugged. “Dunno. Colors got flavor, but like, only the colors, right Tommy? They got the sound, that’s not nerves crossed up. Got a feeling with all the colors.”

Tommy twiddled his thumbs, biting his lip. “Uh, Darnold, remember, we have, um, enhancements? One of Benrey’s, well, enhancements, has to do with perceiving color. It’s not like synthesia, Benrey hears the sounds and they’re real, he can sing the note and- it’s different.”

Darnold shook his head, folding over to rest his head on Sunkist. “Synthesia is all real too. Just because a song tastes like lemonade to one person and not another doesn’t make it any less real for the first person.”

Benrey could read the look in Tommy’s eyes, the one that was asking him to change the subject. Humans weren’t supposed to know about them, not that way, not even all the scientists that worked on them. All they needed to know was that Tommy and Benrey were different. Tommy barely skated by close scrutiny with his ‘experimental enhancements’ excuse.

“Hey, Darnold, wanna see me put my fist in my mouth? Did it on a dare. Won a free donut. I can put a lightbulb in my mouth too, and pull it out. Without breaking it. Freaked a bunch of people out.”

Tommy, for the second time that day, smacked himself and let his hand drag down his face.

“Sure, I’d like to see that.”

Benrey held out a hand, palm up. “Come on, give me incentive.”

Darnold hummed, looking around the room for ideas.

“I will… personally make you your very own flavor of soda. Any flavor you want.”

“Get ready to make the nastiest gamer fuel of your life, bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 75 minutes haha i cant read


	9. benreys a bad wingman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> darnold: this is basic human biology  
> tommy: i totally knew that. i, a fellow human, experience these things daily

“Are you sure you want _mango_ Mountain Dew? I could make any flavor, literally any flavor!”

Darnold threw up his hands in exasperation. He turned to the shorter creature, hands on his hips and waiting for a good reason. Benrey grinned with all of his teeth, but it didn’t reach his eyes. There was no joy, only smug victory there.

“Yeah. Mango. Mountain Dew. Bro, I put a lightbulb in my mouth so I deserve it. Don’t put any mango flavor in, I don’t want that shit.”

Darnold paused his glaring, looking to Tommy for guidance. “Mango Mountain Dew, with no mango flavor.”

“That _is_ what he said, yes.”

Darnold wasn’t quite tall enough to face Tommy eye-to-eye, so he grabbed Tommy’s arms in lieu of his shoulders, shaking him a bit. “That’s just Mountain Dew! Tommy, please, understand me here, he just wants Mountain Dew. He could have any flavor he wanted and he picks one that already exists!”

Tommy was doing his best to maintain his poker face, and was doing a damn good job at it because Darnold hadn’t caught on. “No, Benrey wants mango Mountain Dew without any mango flavor.”

“Yeah, bro. Mango but not mango, you get it?”

Darnold let his friend go in defeat, dropping down to the couch to bury his head in a throw pillow. Tommy politely ignored the mumbling curses. Benrey had no such social graces.

“Are you rage quitting on me?”

The only answer was a muffled scream.

Tommy cackled, pulling a reluctant Darnold out of the cushions. “Sorry, Darnold, he- he’s not serious, he’ll pick a flavor.”

“I already _did_ .”

“Benrey, can you… pick a new flavor?” Benrey shuffled his feet under Tommy’s squinting gaze. Yes, he picked it to antagonize the scientist, but he was also being honest. He wanted mango but not mango Dew. He shrugged his shoulders and hummed, thinking.

“I want, uh, mango. Not mango, though, I want the other mango. Like, you know, the crunchy things. On the stick, the little colored sugar balls. Got no real mango but they taste like mango, but they also don’t taste like mango, guy who made it was all ‘oh man, that’s not mango, but it’s not anything else’, you know?”

Darnold perked up, relief flooding his eyes. “You want artificial mango, like in candy?”

“Yeah. Candy. That’s the shit. I want mango candy Mountain Dew.”

He suddenly looked bashful, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, there’s a bit of a problem with that. I won’t be able to taste test the soda for you. Someone else will have to try it out.”

Benrey and Tommy stared blankly at Darnold.

“I’m allergic.”

Benrey continued to stare blankly at Darnold, while Tommy nodded in pretend understanding.

“Yes, I see. You’re allergic. That’s a shame. Don’t worry, I’m sure I can get Benrey at least to the cafeteria! He can taste them there so you don’t have to bring it all the way down here. I have clearance for a guest, I’m pretty sure, until Benrey gets an ID.”

“Oh sick, I’m gonna leave Alice’s hall of doorways. Get that drink me potion and get real little and go through the epic garden door. Won’t forget my keys though, no need to eat the cake. Just clip through the wall anyways.” Benrey held his hand up for a high five, getting a hesitant _clap_ from Tommy.

“Nice.”

Darnold shook his head, smiling at their antics. “I have to get home now. I still have a paper to write for my English class. Want to walk me out?”

Tommy opened his mouth to confirm, of course he would, but Benrey beat him to the punch.

“Sure, man. Hard to get lost, you go left or right when you step out, but whatever. You just gonna leave your soda here? Cool. Gonna drink it up and game like crazy. Get the highest score in Barbie Horse Adventures, gotta get all those sugar cubes, you know. Coming?”

Benrey was holding the door open, waiting for the scientist to follow. Tommy cast Darnold an apologetic look, wringing his hands. Darnold shook off his surprise, smiling warmly at Benrey. “Sure, Benrey. I just want to say goodbye to Tommy first, okay?”

“Fine. Say bye.”

Benrey stepped out, leaning on his own door until the intern was ready. Darnold opened his arms, grinning up at Tommy.

“Come on, lab partner. Bring it in.”

“I think you meant to say bring it down.” Tommy stooped over, wrapping his arms around his friend and resting his chin on top of Darnold’s hair. It was comfortable, two bros hugging it out. Nevermind that he hadn’t let go and it was dragging on much longer than a normal hug. It wasn’t entirely his fault, though. Darnold squeezed back, before reluctantly pushing on Tommy’s chest.

“Tommy, you’re crushing me.”

“Oh, sorry!” Tommy stretched back up to his full height, rubbing his arm shyly. “Um, see you tomorrow? At work, I mean, in the lab. Because we’re scientists, and that’s what we do.”

“Yeah, tomorrow. I’ll see you.”

Benrey groaned from the hallway, thumping his head against his door. “Are you nerds done yet?”

Darnold jumped, rushing out to join Benrey. “Yes, yep, let’s go.” He practically slammed the door on his way out, cheeks hot.

Benrey smirked, arms crossed.

“What are you smiling at?”

The grin widened.

“Benrey, if you’re not going to-”

“Darnold’s got a cruuuuush.” He sang, straightening up.

Darnold brushed past, huffing. “Really now, that’s quite- that’s very presumptuous of you.”

“I’m gonna tell Tommy.”

The intern whipped around, hands dropping into a death grip on Benrey’s shoulders. “If you so much as breathe a _word_ to Tommy, I…” He frowned, tracing back to everything he knew about Benrey. “I won’t make the Mountain Dew you want.”

The grin fell faster than Darnold could blink. “Aw, no, man, don’t do that, please and thank you? Can’t take my prize, I won it, don’t take my game fuel. That’s not very epic of you, bro. Pretty lame, pretty cringe of you to threaten the Mango Dew like that.”

“Promise not to say anything to Tommy, and you can have as much soda as you want.” Darnold bargained.

Benrey hemmed and hawed, picking at his nails. Finally he nodded. “Yeah, sure bro, lips zipped and locked, tossed the key, except to drink that good shit. Taste flavors and all.”

“Good,” Darnold sighed, letting go. He turned back towards the exit, pulling out his badge to scan at the door. Benrey followed him all the way to the edge of the white tiles, peering out at the walls with colored stripes running horizontally. Darnold gave him a wave, shutting the door behind himself, and left Benrey alone at the end of the hall. Benrey stared at the door for a while, fingers twitching. The door unlocked when an acceptable ID was scanned, like Tommy’s. He was going to get an ID soon, to go down to the cafeteria and drink soda. That meant that he could go past the hallway without being brought right back.

Nice.

He turned on his heel, slinking down to Tommy’s room to kick open the door.

“Hey, Tommy, guess what I just found out about Darnold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 63 minutes darnold uses big nerd words when hes flustered u cant change my mind


	10. First rule of experiments club- don't talk about the experiments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huh. its over twice as long as the first chapter. neat.

He stared at himself in the mirror, glaring at Tommy’s reflection. The much taller teen couldn’t stop laughing.

“I don’t think my clothes fit you!”

“No shit.”

Benrey crossed his arms. The picture was ruined by the sleeves that hung almost a foot past his fingertips. Tapping his foot impatiently didn’t help, seeing as the pants were about twice as long as his legs. Tommy wheezed at that, bent double and clutching his stomach.

“I’ll just wear my clothes.”

“No way, you’ve been wearing those shorts for over a month. They need to be washed, and I’m not taking no for an answer!” Tommy slid in front of the door, blocking Benrey’s path to his room. “You have two choices. Wear my clothes, or-”

“No.”

“ _Or_ , you can ask Darnold.”

Benrey scowled, sticking his tongue out in distaste.

“It’s not my date, I don’t gotta wear shit.”

“It’s not a date! I’m not going on a date, we’re going to taste the soda Darnold made for you! And tomorrow, you’re going to taste those flavors wearing something other than your grungy gamer clothes.”

"You both like each other. Dunno what you’re gonna do though. No good clothes for your date. You, uh, fucking nerd. Only buttons and sweaters. Where's the regular clothes, huh? Don't you have, like, shorts? A shirt. One fucking shirt. Doesn't even need a logo, just one tee, Tommy."

Tommy shook his head. "Nope! Just what my dad gets me! And uh, it's work appropriate too, so I don't have to worry about that. But, I _do_ have one with turtles on it! And, for casual Friday, I wear jeans, and fun socks. I even get to roll up the legs so I can show them off!"

Benrey started pulling off the dress shirt, foregoing the buttons to pull it over his head. He grumbled when he got stuck and Tommy had to help untangle him.

“Doesn’t this place have a gift shop? Gift shops sell clothes. Shirts with dinos on them. And some weird shit. Heard about that, and she had one, and this place full of animals and stuff had a gift shop. Said almost every place has a gift shop. Park didn’t have a gift shop though. Just some people with carts of food.”

Tommy tugged the sleeves over Benrey’s wrists, freeing him of the stiff material. “Are you talking about Freeman?”

Benrey shrugged. “Maybe. What’s it to you?”

“I want to know more about what it’s like out there. I don’t know anything about it, Benrey. Besides what everyone’s told me, I mean. I’ve never left Black Mesa.” Tommy folded the shirt, smoothing every minute crease with nervous fingers. “Dad says the sun is too bright, and the desert’s too cold at night for me to go out. I’d like to see it, if I could. Not the sun, not even the humans look right at it, but the sky. At any time! Darnold told me it’s endless out here, that the stars are all you can see and if you lay down you feel like you’ll fall into them. And during the day, it’s blue, bright blue all the way across. There’s no clouds, and hardly any birds. I’ve seen pictures of birds, they’re in some of my books. Darnold says they have lots of sounds, from whistles and chirps to even screeches. My books say there’s a whole language of them, and they’re different for every species.”

Benrey watched him tidy up all the rejected clothes. He felt awkward. The silence was dragging on. He should say something.

“I saw a bird. It was fat. It didn’t move and it didn’t have eyes and it was covered in ants. I poked it with a stick. Wasn’t in the sky at all.”

Tommy smiled tiredly, laying the pile of shirts into the top drawer under his bed. “That was a dead bird, Benrey.”

“Cool,” he nodded along. He wasn’t sure what Tommy was talking about. Dead just meant that he was really mad at someone, like when Freeman said he was dead when he pushed her into the pond. He thought hard about it, remembering something else. If cringe was dead, which meant it didn’t exist, and saying someone was dead to him meant he’d ignore them, did dead mean…?

“Dead means gone.” He tried the thought out while he rummaged through Tommy’s other drawers. “So if something is gone, it’s dead. But the bird was still there, so it couldn’t have deaded.”

“The past tense is died. ‘Deaded’ isn’t a word, Benrey. And you’re close, but it means something else. Dead is…” Tommy trailed off, frowning at the tie he had pulled out. Right. He still had to get dressed too. He couldn’t go up to the cafeteria wearing sweatpants.

“Dead means not alive. It’s the opposite. It means it doesn’t move, and doesn’t work. It doesn’t mean gone, because when something dies, there’s something still there. A body of sorts, or a machine. Machines die a lot, when they lose power or a part breaks. Then you fix it and it’s not dead anymore, it works and moves how it should.”

“Alive’s not the opposite of dead. That makes no sense.” Benrey slammed the drawer shut, making Tommy jump. “I know what ‘alive’ is. Freeman’s alive. That’s not just moving. I see stuff move all the time. My Voice moves. I see it move and I don’t touch it or poke it with a stick. It’s not alive, it just does its thing. But it’s not dead, because it doesn’t- it doesn’t move after a while, it just goes away. It doesn’t work anymore but it’s not dead. But with what you said, my Voice and- and that’s wrong. You’re wrong. Dead doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. Dead means the alive is gone. It means… gone. Alive means something else, it’s not the opposite of dead. It means it exists but different.”

Tommy gaped open mouthed at his friend. “Benrey, you’re talking about metaphysics?”

“I’m not talking about physics, I don’t have a bunch of nerd words and numbers going out of my mouth. I’m talking about what dead and alive mean.” He crossed his arms, watching Tommy scramble for a thick book on his desk.

“What are you doing?”

“Ontology!”

“What?”

Tommy dropped it on the floor, flipping through and scanning the pages. “Ontology is like- it’s the study of existence. It’s a part of metaphysics, which _is_ related to physics, but it’s different. Here!” He pointed at the page, underlining a paragraph with his finger as he read.

“Ontology is a subcategory of metaphysics, often classified as the philosophical study of being. There are many ontological questions, but there are a few key points when discussing the validity of one’s status as existing. Often most notably, what is existence?”

His eyes snapped back up to his friend, flashing with excitement. “Look, see, you’re questioning the idea of life and what it means! You’re interested in philosophy, so if you question it, instead of just accepting it as is- you’re a success!”

Benrey felt his bare skin crawl at those words.

“What do you _mean_ I’m a _success_ , Tommy.”

The color drained from Tommy’s face. He staggered to his feet, hands out in front, as if Benrey would attack.

Benrey didn’t know if he would or not.

He took a step forward, and Tommy took two back.

“Tommy. What do you mean I’m a _success._ ”

“Look, Benrey, I just- I read the files, and I- and the reason they started the experiment, the parameters, it was- look, I didn’t mean like that, you _know_ it.”

“ _Then what did you mean!_ ”

Dark red Voice spilled like venom from his mouth. Tommy flinched, and Sunkist was there, hackles raised and growling deep in her throat. She bared her teeth and Benrey snarled right back. Tommy’s hands shook as they covered his own mouth, making the anxious gentle giant look more like a terrified little boy.

Little wasn’t subjective.

Benrey jolted, head hitting the ceiling. He crouched over, clutching the sore spot on the back and gritting his teeth. He could taste blood in his mouth, that wasn’t right, he hadn’t bitten anything, but his canines were sore and his face _hurt_ . Anger quickly gave way to confusion as he felt raised lines under his hair. His fingers ran over bumps under his scalp, and the uncertainty froze into horror.

He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out were violent colors, wavering and flashing like alarms. His vision twisted, and there were more angles to see from, tinted so many shades- orange green red blue yellow- that it made him sick. He could hear Sunkist’s whimpering as she stood over Tommy, protecting her master. Even when faced with the sight of the creature in front of him, Tommy still searched, and saw the fear in Benrey’s eyes. He stood, hands held palm up in support instead of appeasement.

Sunkist barked, but a shake of Tommy’s head had her back down.

“Benrey, think about something happy. Think about the park.”

The park, with- with trees and grass and the woods on the edge and the crack of a bat and-

And what would Freeman think of this?

Freeman would hate it. Didn’t like his teeth, knew she was afraid of him, didn’t get when he joked. She liked him normal but not quite, liked when he was odd but not deranged. Didn’t know how _wrong_ everything about him was, how different he was from her. Didn’t know and shouldn’t, still stuck around despite how _off_ Benrey was.   
Arms wrapped around his shaking shoulders, and his face was pressed into a suddenly wet shirt. Tommy was shushing him, why was he being shushed? He raised a hand through the tangle of limbs to wipe his Voice off his chin, and his fingers hit something else, pouring over his cheeks. He lifted it to his eye level. His vision was clear. It was clear. He felt disjointed, staring at it. _I’m leaking._

Tommy seemed to read his mind, or maybe he said it out loud.

“You’re crying, Benrey. And- and I’m sorry. I knew- I _know_ how you feel, about the tests, and the reasons, and I didn’t think. I just talked. I- I try not to, not to poke, but I have to know _why_ , it’s just how I am. I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you think it would happen again.”

Benrey’s tongue poked where teeth should’ve been. His jaw hurt but he had to say it. “Nah your faul’, ‘ommy. Sorry.”

Tommy pulled back, eyeing his friend up and down. Benrey seemed fine physically.

“Do you know what you just did?”

Trust Tommy’s inquisitive mind to focus on the facts. Benrey almost shook his head, before the pounding headache made itself known. “No,” he opted for instead.

“Benrey, you just shifted your form. I was right, we _are_ shape-shifters, Benrey. Do you know what that means?”

“No.” He was still recovering from the terror of the labs and smacking his head. He didn’t have the mental power to talk about Tommy’s research. Tommy didn’t get the memo. Seeing as Benrey wasn’t about to grow and morph into a monster again, Tommy got up, rooting through his desk to pull out his notebook. Tommy circled something, coming back to kneel next to Benrey.

“What you did, with the growing and eyes and your teeth, it’s like what they described in the original file-”

Benrey tuned him out. He couldn’t move on like Tommy. Not so quickly. He didn’t process as fast. Tommy’s emotions were already past, replaced by his scientific drive, but Benrey felt his swirling around like a cesspool in his guts. He stood, ignoring Tommy’s questions, and headed to his room before he could be stopped. He locked the door behind himself, and the knocking eventually faded away.

Slumping down, he sank to the ground, letting his Voice dribble out.

Teetery yellow, followed by staticky blue, joined by pale orange. Under it, a thin line of wine red sneaked out, threading under the other colors. He cupped a handful of the blue, periwinkle, his mind supplied, rolling it back and forth until it was shaped like a ball. Staring at it, he felt his heart tug. It dissipated into smoke, fading away into the air without a trace. Staring at the colors was easier when he was alone, without Tommy’s loud explanations. He could read it himself, without any of Tommy’s rhymes.

It wasn’t about memorizing meanings, it was about intent and feelings.

His tongue poked where a tooth should be- was. His teeth were all there. They weren’t missing or broken. His jaw still hurt like hell. He didn’t want to share these colors with anyone, there was no need to say anything out loud anyways.

Hollow from a missing piece carved out of his chest, paralyzed of being dragged back _down_ , tired of spending all his time doing the same day-in and day-out yet utterly exhausted by the simple routine, enragement petering out into regret. He crawled across the floor under the fading glow, reaching for the familiar stiffness of a worn brim. Worriedly, he reached back up to his head, feeling-

There.

The ridges hadn’t disappeared, they’d simply turned into ravines. The bumps were sharp, he could feel, they poked out from his skin now. He traced the lines gingerly, finding where they met at the back of his skull, where the rigid bone felt _soft_ .

Nope.

He pulled the hat on, and it was already better. Less exposed, he felt his shoulders finally fall into relaxation. He was glad for the growing darkness as the last of his Voice evaporated. He let his eyes adjust to the dim room, glancing at the crack of light from under the door. Tommy was long since gone. He couldn’t be blamed. Benrey had gotten up and left; he obviously wanted to be left alone. Tommy wasn’t always attuned to others, but he could take a hint. He flexed his fingers, a vague memory of claws coming out of the post-morph fog. Tommy would be fine taking down his notes- that was how Tommy processed events efficiently. Tommy would need his own time to recover, get over the terror of seeing his best friend turn into a ten foot tall monster.

Benrey stared at the so-far untouched paper and pen on his desk, legs drawn up to his chest that he finally remembered was bare. Good thing he’d been wearing Tommy’s pants. He grimaced, staring down at the stretched out fabric. Staring at his body was never very fun, it didn’t spark any positive feelings. There was a Y-shaped scar that crossed most of his torso. It wasn’t as if he’d forgotten about it. He just didn’t think about it. He didn’t like to.

There were a lot of things he didn’t like to think about.

He tended not to think about that.

One hand came up to rest on top of the baseball cap, mimicking the first time it had been pressed onto his head.

Yeah, he liked to think about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this clocked in at 143 minutes but i dont regret it


	11. this is the drama troupe of black mesa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> benrey can have little a flashback, as a treat...

Tommy didn’t say anything about it when Benrey showed up at his door. He didn’t mention that Benrey’s clothes were sopping wet, or that there were lurid streaks of color across the once white shirt. He didn’t acknowledge the hat that Benrey never let him touch. He simply held out Benrey’s brand new badge and told Sunkist to stay.

Benrey turned the card over in his hands. He knew that Tommy’s said _Lead Scientist_ on it, and Darnold’s said _Mixology_ . Benrey’s designation was blank. It didn’t even have a picture, though Benrey wouldn’t admit he was glad of that. He didn’t want to see himself, not on a piece of Black Mesa property. The only thing he could read was his name.

“Bro, they spelled my name wrong.”

Tommy finally turned around to shoot him a curious glance. “What do you mean? It says Benrey, doesn’t it?”

He huffed, holding it up for his friend to see. “Look. It’s different.”

Tommy squinted at the card, suddenly flushing with embarrassment. “Oh no, I’m so sorry Benrey! I guess when I asked for it, I forgot to tell my dad how to spell it so he guessed!”

Sure enough, BENRY glared up at him in bold font, almost mockingly. No, not almost. Explicitly mockingly, now that he knew Gman had made the badge.

“Whatever. Let’s just get going. Gonna miss out on that game fuel if we don’t. Your date’s waiting.”

“He’s not- it’s not a date!”

But Benrey had already moved on, swiping his new ID with relish as the door opened. He took his first steps out in the depths of Black Mesa, feeling the air change from the warm temperature controlled dorms to _cold_ . He huffed, watching his foggy breath drift up. The wet shirt and shorts clung to his skin, feeling close to freezing.

“Hey, Tommy, what’s the temp in human?”

“Celcius is a perfectly valid measurement system for-”

“Temp.”

“It’s about ten, or fifty, in Fahrenheit.”

Great, so he _was_ just imagining the ice forming on his clothes. He turned left, he was pretty sure that was the way Tommy went to work, shoving his hands in his pockets and clenching them in an effort to ignore the shivers racing down his spine. They weren’t from the chilly air. The clack of Tommy’s footsteps followed close behind the soft clump of Benrey’s stolen shoes. It sounded eerily similar to every other echo in the hallways that he’d heard in Black Mesa, walking with purpose unlike Benrey’s out of place shuffling. His friend stuck close, he knew, but he couldn’t hear Tommy’s voice over the thumping in his ears.

A hand touched his elbow, and he glanced up out of habit to where the ceiling was much closer.

Slowly, his sight moved down, to where he was eye-level with a concerned Tommy.

“Benrey? Do you want to go back?”

He blinked and suddenly his vision doubled over.

“No. I want soda.”

He could see Tommy fighting not to argue, saw the stress of seeing a creature suffer. Benrey was fine. He didn’t need Tommy’s pity to walk down a stupid hallway. Benrey forced a deep breath, focusing on the pressure of the hat pulled a notch too tight on purpose. He closed his eyes, all of them, let his hands drop to hang at his sides so the claws didn’t dig into his palms, and thought hard.

She had really nice hair. It was frizzy after they’d left the woods, and she was laughing at the toad that Benrey couldn’t quite catch. He scowled at her, finally making a last ditch attempt at pouncing on the critter. It slipped out of his hands, and he let out a frustrated groan, letting his head hit the grass.

“I told you, I’m not kissing a stupid frog, Benrey! Even if you actually caught it, I wouldn’t!”

“Then why’d you tell me the story?” He pushed himself up, brushing off the grass on his elbows and knees but leaving the leaves in his hair. She smirked down at him from her place in the tree, swinging her legs as she straddled the branch.

“Because, you look like a frog. I thought some unlucky princess kissed you and got so scared she ran away.”

Benrey stuck his tongue out.

“You’re mean, Freeman.”

Freeman swung a leg over and fell back, hanging upside down to make a face at him. Her hair fell down, cascading in dark rivulets towards the ground. He reached up, threatening to tug it, and Freeman shrieked, pulling herself up before he could even get his fingers tangled in it.

“Benrey?”

He opened his two eyes, looking up at Tommy’s relieved face.

“Hey man. What’re you waiting for? You’re gonna miss out on seeing your boyfriend at this rate.”

“Oh for the love of- for the last time, Benrey! He’s not my boyfriend!”

Benrey shrugged, following the signs as Tommy grumbled indignantly. It didn’t take long for him to get lost. Tommy had been too irritated by his teasing to pay attention, and hadn’t noticed yet. Maybe he wouldn’t be so lost in thought if Benrey got his attention.

“Hey, what’s in here?” He swung open a door, ignoring Tommy’s cry of _Wait, damnit!_ The room was empty save for a few tables, chairs and vending machines. And a fellow teen.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I should be asking the same thing. Is it bring-your-kid-to-work day here?” The stranger crossed their arms, leaning back in their chair with laced up boots kicked up on the table. They looked positively bored, and Benrey couldn’t blame them. The only interesting thing in the room was a motivational poster of a cat clinging to a branch. Hang in there, indeed.

“I am _so_ sorry, he’s not used to being nice. We’ll just be going now.” Tommy tugged on Benrey’s arm, but the much shorter creature didn’t move. He thought of something Freeman had once asked a rude person. They’d been questioning Benrey’s presence on the baseball diamond.

“Aren’t you, like, twelve? Where are your parents? Don’t you gotta go home and cry to Mommy now?”

“ _BENREY!_ ”

Tommy’s reprimand was cut off by a cackling wheeze, the chair legs slamming down as the teen rocked forward laughing. Benrey was mystified by the response. This was not at all how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to leave, not giggle. Their hand gripped the table, helping them to straighten up and grin at Benrey.

“You sound just like a kid on XBox. What’s your gamertag? Shadow reaper three? Do you play Cod and brag about your leet skills?”

He held up his badge.

“My name’s Benrey. Cringe guy spelled it wrong though. I play Tekken. This is Tommy.”

Tommy waved nervously, standing just behind Benrey like a shy child. Hunching over did nothing to hide his tall frame. “Hi.”

That seemed to get the stranger to calm down, folding their arms on the table to appraise the newcomers. “I’m Forzen. Do your parents work here or something?”

Tommy shrugged, pulling out his own ID. “Well, yeah, but I work here too. I’m a Lead Scientist, down in the Lambda Lab.”

Forzen whistled. “What about you, shortstop?”

“I killed a man and stole his body to hang out and play videogames with Tommy.”

“He didn’t really, but we do play videogames! Why are you here?”

Forzen laughed again, finally getting up. “I live with my uncle, but he doesn’t want me to just hang around the house. I have to come to work with him. I’ve never seen anyone else come down here, why are you guys here?”

Benrey turned, already bored with the conversation. “Come on, Tommy. I want my Mango Dew.”

Tommy sighed, torn between wanting to talk to Forzen and following Benrey. “That’s why. Hey, do you, um, maybe, want to come along?”

Forzen glanced back at the table. “Yeah. My uncle won’t mind. Lead the way.”

It took less than a minute for the questions to start.

“Why are you all wet?”

Benrey spun, walking backwards to face the two. “Tommy said I couldn’t wear my clothes because I ‘hadn’t done laundry in a month’,” he finger quoted. “So I did my laundry.”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “I _said_ that you could borrow mine until yours were clean.”

Forzen looked up at Tommy, quirking a brow and fighting a growing smile. “Really? Your clothes? On _him_ ?”

Benrey cackled as Tommy huffed, crossing his arms. “Oh, whatever! As if walking around soaked is better than a big shirt! If you get sick, it’s your fault!”

Benrey turned back to walk, narrowly avoiding a wall. “I don’t get sick. Only noobs get sick. I’m a pro gamer. Are you a noob, Tommy? Do you get sick?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I do, Benrey.”

“Oh.”

Benrey tuned out their chatter, catching sight of the sign for the cafeteria and speeding up. He burst through the doors, scanning the room and- there, Darnold. He sped through the empty tables, jumping over a few chairs to reach the row of toxic colored bottles.

“Yo, Darnold, you got the goods? Got my gamer fuel for epic win times?”

He sighed in resignation, spreading his arms out at the soda. “Yes, Benrey. I’ve ‘got the goods’. Your taste testing awaits. Where’s Tommy?”

Benrey shot a look up, pausing in ripping a cap off with his teeth. “Dunno. Talking to someone in the hall. Some weirdo that doesn’t even work here. Got no badge probably. Says their uncle works here though.”

Darnold frowned. “Was he about my height, wearing boots and skull earrings?”

Benrey nodded, mouth too full of sugar water to speak.

“So you’ve met _Forzen_ ,” he gritted out. Darnold brushed past Benrey, storming towards where Tommy and his new friend were entering. Benrey stayed back, confident that Tommy could handle whatever spat was about to happen. There was no need to get involved, he could stay next to his array of flavors and ignore them.

Except he couldn’t.

Forzen was very loud.

“I can’t believe _this_ is who you’re working with!”

Darnold was also very loud.

“At least _I_ work, and don’t quit right before the deadline!”

“You didn’t even let me run tests, obviously you had everything under control without my help!”

“Right, because I definitely needed the help of someone who doesn’t even know the name of the specimen’s genus!”

“Do I look like a marine biologist? No! Obviously I didn’t know what the fuck a tardigrade was!”

Poor Tommy’s eyes glazed over as the two snapped back and forth, circling around the much taller teen. He jumped when Forzen leaned forward into Darnold’s face, immediately grabbing their shirt collars and holding them apart before the boys could get violent.

“Wait! Wait wait wait! You two know each other?”

Darnold twisted out of Tommy’s hold, taking a few steps back from him. “God, you’re strong, and yeah, I know Forzen. Remember how I was first assigned to the wrong department?”

“Yes, the marine biology department, before you were transferred to Mixology, and your lab partner was there on accident too.” Tommy let Forzen go as well; no matter how hard they tugged they couldn’t get loose on their own. The realization struck him as he looked down at Forzen. Darnold glared at him from the other side of Tommy’s reach.

“Well, _this_ is who I was partnered with, and he didn’t even _try_ to work on the study with me.”

Forzen scoffed, straightening his shirt. “I was _trying_ to get us transferred to the right labs, not that you ever thanked me for it. You’re welcome, by the way, that you’re not stuck cleaning tanks anymore.”

“You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t even stay in the program! You left, and- I’m going. I’m not fighting you on this.” Darnold turned away, stomping back to the table. Benrey watched him stalk closer, pieces clicking together that Darnold was leaving, and so was the soda.

“Hey, uh, can’t let you go.”

“What, are you going to stop me?”

Benrey shifted, picking at his nails. “...Yeah. If you go, you’ll, uh, you’ll make Tommy sad. That’d be pretty shit. You don’t gotta live with him, you don’t know how he is when he’s sad. He makes faces and sighs a lot. Pretty lame, making Tommy sad, you know.”

They both looked back to where the scientist stood trying to calm Forzen down. Darnold pursed his lips, glowering.

“ _Fine._ ”   
Benrey let him go talk to the two, tuning out the conversation to focus back in on the taste testing. So far, he liked the flavor that tasted how static felt, and the acidic one that burned his tongue if he let it sit. According to Darnold’s neat handwritten labels, they had the most sugar out of them. It made sense to Benrey, that they would be the best. Everything good had a hefty amount of sweetness. He split them into groups, doing his best to avoid eavesdropping on the lowered voices nearby. He wasn’t interested, but Tommy’s voice was compelling to listen to.

“Look, see, maybe if you gave each other another chance, you’d be really good friends! I’m friends with Benrey, because we gave each other a chance! You can apologize and start over, and we can do stuff together, and you can hang out with us too, Forzen.”

“Why would I want to hang out with you?” Benrey had to fight a laugh off at Forzen’s sarcasm.

“Tommy, I can’t do this. He’s just going to be rude and- and _mean_ , and I don’t want to hear it.”

Forzen bristled, drawing himself up to his full height. “I’m not mean, I’m nice. I’m super nice, and you just don’t notice when someone’s being nice to you.”

They reminded Benrey of some children he’d seen fighting on the playground.

“Oh yeah? Prove it. Prove you’re nice.”

Without even bracing himself, Forzen took the challenge.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ended up leaving you alone. I’m sorry I left and didn’t tell you that you were going to the right labs, and I’m sorry for dropping out. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“Yes,” he relaxed. “I’m sorry too, that I got mad at you and didn’t let you manage your own part of the experiment without taking control. And I’m sorry that I got frustrated at you.”

Tommy wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them into a loose hug. Forzen grumbled while Darnold returned it.

“See, this is better already! Because now I have three friends here, and we can play four player games, like Guitar Hero Rock Band! And we can do stuff together now, and we can hang out, and- Benrey, get over here! You have to be hugged too!”

Benrey dropped his current bottle, knowing full well that if he didn’t move, Tommy would come for him. Forzen pulled a face as the creature came close, wrapping his arms around the two humans to mimic Tommy. Darnold was broken out of his comfortable spot with that, yelping as Benrey leaned in with a malicious grin.

“Holy fuck! Benrey! How the hell did you get soaked!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 93 minutes im doing good on time


	12. bff, bf, bf... im gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honesty is the best policy. unless if your life is in danger. feel free to lie all you need

Benrey soon found that he did not like when both of the humans were in Tommy’s dorm, because there was no longer room on the couch for Benrey.

“Make Forzen move.”

“Benrey, he’s a _guest_ , I’m not making him move.”

Darnold raised a hand. “I could move?”

Benrey whipped around, pointing an accusing finger at the scientist. “Don’t you dare. You earned your place on the couch.”

Tommy crossed his arms, foot tapping impatiently. “How does one, quote unquote, _earn_ their place on the couch, Benrey? Because if it’s by contributing to the soda stock, you deserve to be taped to the ceiling fan blades.”

Benrey scowled up at Tommy, ignoring the panicked look as he adjusted his sight. His friend was suddenly in his face, blocking it from view of the humans. “ _Benrey_ ,” he hissed, grabbing the creature’s shoulders.

“Huh?”

“ _Eyes!_ ”

“Oh, right.” He closed them- only three this time- and held his breath. After a few moments of quiet, Forzen cleared his throat, waving at the crouching creatures.

“I could just sit on Darnold if it’s a big deal.”

“No you could not.” The scientist in question shot back, pulling his knees up to his chest to protect his personal space. Forzen leaned in close to bat his lashes, sickly sweet smirk creeping up as he dropped his weight onto Darnold.

“Are you the home of phobic? Mon ami, what’s a little cuddle between bros?”

Darnold squeaked, shoving Forzen off onto the floor. Tommy tried to catch him but only succeeded in tripping and falling across the teen.

“Oh, jeez, Forzen, I’m so sorry!”

Forzen coughed as Tommy got up, gripping his winded stomach.

“Chuis trompé… mes amis ne m’aiment pas plus…”

Darnold peered over the edge at the damage he caused. “Oh, don’t be such a drama king. You did it to yourself.”

Benrey leered down at the boy on the ground. “Look, he’s finally dead. Now I can sit on the couch. Wait- Sunkist- no! Get off!”

There was no stopping a several hundred pound retriever from climbing up and resting her heavy head on Darnold’s lap. Tommy laughed as Benrey fumed, his rivalry with the dog reignited. Darnold wheezed as the dog readjusted, ramming her head into his chest for affection.

“Tommy, what do you _feed_ her? Whole animals? There’s a difference between gianticism and genetic manipulation, you know. You could have stopped growing her at any time!”

Tommy leaned over the prone Forzen to pet his dog, smiling as she licked his hand.

“I made her perfect, so she’s big enough to hold everything I wanted in a dog. She needs to be big, or it wouldn’t all fit.”

Finally, Forzen lifted himself up. “What do you mean by everything fitting? What the hell did you do to your dog, Tommy?”

Tommy twisted his fingers in her fur, nervously. “Well, you know, a couple routine back ups of her brain need to be saved somewhere, just in case anything happened to the primary or secondary ones in there, heh. Not that anything would, her bones are twice as strong as any dog. And, of course, can’t forget that her blood pressure would have to be higher, she’s big, so she just needed another heart, and another stomach since she needs to eat a lot, and-”

“So you just played Frankenstien on your dog?” Forzen gave him an incredulous look.

Tommy flinched, wrapping an arm around Sunkist’s body. “Well, no, see, she’s not made from corpses or anything. It’s… hard to explain.”

Darnold stopped petting to give him a nod. “Modified dog embryo, right? Implant into one of the genetic lab’s artificial tanks, monitor, and adjust as needed.”

“No, not- not at all. It’s more complicated, and it’s simpler than that.”

Sunkist huffed, nosing Darnold’s hand to get him to rub her ears again. He complied absentmindedly, thinking hard about her origin.

“Did you make her from a wolf? I know you could figure out how to rebuild a retriever from the ground up.”

“I- I can’t tell you, it’s confidential-”

Tommy was panicking, he should’ve just agreed that he made Sunkist in the genetics lab, he could write up some fake records in case anyone checked and- Benrey stepped up.

“He made Sunkist in this room.”

“Benrey, don’t-”

‘“With his mind. Tommy makes things from his Thoughts.”

Brown and grey eyes stared blankly at him, before Forzen burst into laughter. “That’s how ideas work, yeah man!”

Tommy let out a sigh of relief. They didn’t understand him. He grabbed Benrey’s arm, tugging him towards the door.

“Sorry, one moment, I just have to explain to Benrey what _confidential_ means.”

“Aw, man, I know what it means, but it isn’t- not really.” Benrey protested as he was dragged out. Once the door was shut, Tommy turned on him.

“Benrey!”

“Tommy!”

“They’re _human_! You can’t just _tell_ them about us!”

“They’re your boyfriends, they should know. You gotta trust them. Not gonna run to the scientists and get us all dissected.”

Tommy gaped, unable to come up with a retort beyond “They aren’t my boyfriends.”

“Gotta tell them some time, that you like them, and that you do stuff. They’re nerds, they’ll think it’s cool, and you can talk about stuff with them, you don’t gotta talk to me anymore. They’re all smart like you, they’ll know what you really say, and they can keep up with your research, and you invite them over anyways. It’s all good. You just gotta tell them about it, and prove you can, and bam. If you’re scared, if they tell, just pretend you don’t know. Don’t gotta do anything else. Works all the time.” Benrey shuffled to kick at the wall.

“Benrey,” he started. The short creature cut him off.

“They can help you better than me, can go to the labs without changing, without losing shape. Besides, can’t hide it forever, they’re gonna notice when you run off to use it, it’s not easy, and they could ask questions. When they ask, you can’t lie, you won’t be able to. You’ll feel bad inside, and you can’t change it and she won’t be happy after so long when you lie.”

“Benrey,” Tommy tried again, catching his shoulder to make Benrey face him. “Is this about Freeman?”

“What? No.”

“I think it is. Are you upset that you didn’t tell her?”

Benrey yanked out of his grip, crossing his arms and glazing at the floor. “No. Couldn’t anyways. Didn’t have the words to talk about the Voice. Stop changing the subject. Tell your boyfriends how you made Sunkist. Don’t wanna lie anymore. It’s hard.”

Tommy pursed his lips, standing up straight.

“Fine. We can tell them.”

“No shit?”

“On one condition.”

“Oh shit.”

Tommy bent over to meet Benrey’s eyes, squinting as he opened a few more.

“ _Stop calling them my fucking boyfriends_ .”

He hemmed and hawed, twiddling his thumbs. “But what if they _are_ your boyfriends?”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose, seething through his teeth. “Fine- fine. _If_ I tell you they’re my boyfriends, you can call them my boyfriends..”

“Nice.” Benrey slipped past, slamming the door open against the wall and making the humans jump. Darnold had been helping Forzen up finally, but the sound shocked him into dropping his friend.

“Hey losers, guess what?”

Darnold shot an apologetic look to the resigned Forzen, pulling him to his feet again. “What, Benrey?”

“I’m not the loser, you don’t even have XBox.” Forzen pushed Darnold onto the couch, shoving his way between him and the dog. “Alright, what’s up?”

Benrey opened his mouth.

Nothing came out.

“You okay there, Benrey?” Darnold knocked Forzen’s head off his shoulder to lean forward in curiosity.

“This is harder than I thought. Tommy, you say it.”

“You’re the one who wanted to tell them. I’m not going to.” Tommy crossed his arms.

Benrey groaned, smacking his head into the doorframe with a hollow _thunk_ . “This is all for you so they don’t get big mad and all upset for the lying. You gotta show ‘em what I mean when I say it. Gotta put into the words they get, you know?”

Darnold fell back, squishing Forzen into Sunkist with a yelp from the middle man. “We’re not going to get mad at anyone, so what’s wrong, Benrey?”

“Speak for yourself. I’ll get mad if I want.” Forzen grumbled, wiggling out from the dog’s fur. Sunkist huffed, finally getting off the couch to get away from the rowdy boys and lay on her own bed. Forzen stretched out, taking a deep breath now that he wasn’t crushed anymore.

“Alright, Benny boy, out with it. What are you hiding?”

He turned his head, hat almost falling off as he twisted against the frame. He sized them up, Forzen’s grouchy boredom and Darnold’s intense interest. He stuttered over it, nervous green bubbling up. This was a good idea, in theory. It was for Tommy. Tommy shouldn’t have to be scared of his friends being mad. Tommy shouldn’t have to worry about being a freak or hiding what he could do. Tommy was _good_ , at what he did and being himself, and he deserved to be okay with it. 

  
“We’re experiments.”

Forzen snorted. “No shit, Sherlock. You have cat eyes and pointy teeth.”

Darnold sighed, relaxing back into the cushions. “Oh, that’s all? We already knew, Benrey. Tommy mentioned it when we first met. You both have enhancements.”

“No, not like that, it’s- _urgh_ !” Benrey smushed his face into the wall, muttering curses between grinding his teeth. He held out a hand, waiting to tag Tommy in, but the low-five never came. He turned, betrayed, looking up to his tall friend.

“Tommy, say it in the words they know.”

“No way, this was your plan,” he murmured. He wouldn’t meet the eyes of anyone in the room, pointedly staring at his shoes. Fine, if he wanted to play it that way, Benrey would just show them. He stalked over to Tommy’s desk, ripping open the drawers and tearing out books and papers until he found the notepad. Grabbing a highlighter, he flipped it open to a familiar page, circling a few words on it. Tommy was silent despite the mess Benrey made, rubbing his arms and chewing on his lip with significantly sharper teeth.   
Benrey moved with the intent of a storm, slapping the open pad down on the table in front of the humans. He could feel his eyes open, the rapidly changing perspective making him nauseous, but he was too wound up to stop it. It would help prove his point anyways, right? They had to believe him, had to understand, they could help Tommy more than Benrey could, they were scientists and they _cared_ .

“Aliens?” Darnold hadn’t looked up.

“You’re kidding. Aliens would be galaxies away, not anywhere close to Earth, and even if they were, what makes you think-”

Forzen stared.

“Benrey?”

“Yeah?”

“How many eyes do you have?”

Benrey shifted as Darnold’s head shot up.

“Do you mean now or like, in total? ‘Cause I don’t know.”

He blinked from right to left, one at a time to count.

“Eight.”

“Oh my god,” Darnold swayed, voice faint. Tommy rushed over to grab his shoulders, pushing him gently back in case he collapsed.

“Darnold! Darnold, look at me, focus on me, it’s all good, we’re not invading or hurting anyone, and we’re nice! Please stop freaking out!”

Benrey leaned around Tommy to catch sight of his face. Darnold was ashen. There was a manic look in his eye, and Benrey didn’t like the growing grin.

“Yo, is he okay?”

Forzen flipped a page in Tommy’s notepad, studying the messy scrawl. “I think you broke him.”

“Then why aren’t you broken? Why are you all calm and shit?” Benrey blinked- one more eye on his cheek, and he was bigger- down at Forzen.

Forzen shrugged. “Oh, I’m in _deep_ denial. And also kinda knew Black Mesa was all fucked up with what they’re making down there. Left the weaponry department for a reason. I’ll freak out later. I’m trying to read Tommy’s shitty handwriting. It’s like a five-year-old’s. Jesus, did anyone ever teach you how to print? Your cursive is awful. I feel like I’m reading a prescription.”

“Didn’t go to school,” Darnold muttered, hands gripping Tommy’s sweater in a futile effort to ground himself. “Didn’t go to school because he’s an alien.”

Tommy hummed, back to abusing his lip. “No, not because of that, my dad just taught me what I needed to know. I don’t need to go to school if I know how to test and experiment. Are you going to be okay?”

Benrey hissed at the piercing laugh, covering his ears.

“I work in a top secret, morally grey facility to earn a scholarship so I can go to college in a year and aliens are real and I’m friends with two!”

“I’m not your friend,” Benrey cut in.

Darnold ignored him.

“Excuse me, I thought humans were alone in the universe! I didn’t realize that _aliens_ that look nearly human exist, despite the _extreme_ unlikelihood of a completely unrelated species having evolved anything close to us, and that they’re, what, just hanging around on Earth?”

Tommy sat back on the table, knees nearly meeting his chest on the low surface. “It’s just us three. Benrey, me, and my dad. We, Benrey and me, we’re from Earth too, we were made here. I think. We just want to know why we’re here, why we…” He drifted off, watching Forzen narrow his eyes at his bullet point lists.

“What the hell is the Voice? And why do you have all these weird rhymes for it? What, do you sing at people to control them or something?”

“Oh, that’s Benrey’s thing. I have Thoughts. Sometimes I make people do things, but I never mean to! I don’t like to do it, but it’s what I used to make Sunkist, so it’s not all bad.”

The dog thumped her tail at her name.

Forzen held up the pad, turned around to face Benrey.

“What’s the difference between red to blue and crimson to azure? They’re just different names for the same colors.” He rolled his eyes at Benrey’s indignant huff.

“They’re totally different. One means I fucking hate you. The other means you’re a rude motherfucker.”

“So they’re insults, got it. What’s it look like? Does your mouth change colors or- oh c’est fucking répugnant!”

Forzen jolted back as Benrey coughed up green Voice at him, spilling over his chin and drifting like bubbles as it fell. Tommy glanced over on autopilot, already translating.

“Green like a fern means he’s very concerned.”

Benrey wiped it off with his sleeve, shooting a quick grin at Forzen’s disgusted face.

He nodded at Darnold, who was zoned out and fixedly looking at the ceiling fan. “He’s okay?”

Tommy nudged his shoulder, brows creased in worry. “I don’t know.”

“I will be…” He mumbled, deathly still. “Just gotta get over my cute lab partner being from outer space.”

Forzen laughed as Tommy spluttered.

“I’m from Earth! I was made here! I’ve never even left Black Mesa!”

“ _That’s_ what you focus on!?” Forzen cackled, dropping the notepad to grab his sore stomach. “Not the- not the cute part?”

Benrey grinned down at Darnold, who was suddenly turning an interesting shade.

Tommy froze, hands in the air, pupils blown and mouth open.

“Huh?”

Benrey joined Forzen in laughing at the two. It wasn’t until he straightened up, wiping light pink off of his mouth, that he realized he wasn’t towering over the humans anymore. He blinked in surprise, hands coming up to touch his cheeks and forehead.

“Huh.”

“What happened?” Tommy desperately looked for a distraction.

“Only two eyes again. Didn’t even have to think ‘bout her that time. Just laughing and it’s gone.”

Tommy was back into his scientist mode, snatching the notepad and pulling a pencil stub out of his pocket to take notes. Frantically. Benrey grinned at his flustered friend.

“Looks like any form of happiness will ground your shape, not just thinking about- um, the park and such.”

Darnold had recovered, snapped out of his thoughts at the mention of a ‘her’. Anything to get away from the embarrassment of calling Tommy cute- don’t think about it. Ignore it and it’s like it didn’t even happen.

“Who’s ‘her’? Do you have another friend?”

“Nope. Not talking about it.” Benrey shook his head. “Not gonna talk about it with you nerds. That’s top secret stuff, can’t go around telling humans about my alien junk.”

“We don’t care about your junk, we want to know about your secret girlfriend, straightie.” Forzen held up his hand for a high five that didn’t come. Pouting, he dropped his hand. “No one appreciates me here.”

“You’re right. Let’s make fun of Forzen being bad at jokes.” Benrey gripped his sleeves, tugging them over his hands.

“We appreciate you plenty.” Darnold sat up, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. “So, let me get this all straight-”

“Hah.”

“Shut up, Forzen. You two,” he pointed at Tommy and Benrey, “aren’t human, you’re aliens, but you were ‘born’ on Earth. Benrey has a friend we haven’t met, Tommy’s literally never left Black Mesa, and Black Mesa is run by an alien that no one knows the true motives of. Is that all today? Any more truth bombs?”

Forzen raised a hand, imitating Darnold’s polite wave. “You forgot that you have a-”

“Everyone who thinks Forzen should be quiet, raise your hand.” Darnold’s arm shot up, quickly followed by Tommy and Benrey’s.

“Dude.” Forzen shot Benrey a dirty look.

“Sick of your cracking voice, man.” Benrey shrugged, smug.

“My voice doesn’t crack, besides, all I was going to say was-”

Darnold’s hand fell to cover his mouth, barely muffling him.

“I’m guessing that your status as extraterrestrials was supposed to stay secret. Why did you tell us?”

Benrey and Tommy looked to each other, faces twisting in a silent conversation. Finally, it seemed as though Benrey had won, because Tommy sighed in defeat and answered. “Benrey thinks that if we kept it secret, you would’ve been so angry about being kept out that you would have told the other scientists.”

Darnold snorted, letting Forzen go. “I mean, it’s understandable. I wouldn’t tell just anyone if I wasn’t human. What would the others even do? You’re a head scientist with your own lab, and your _dad_ runs the company. Are they going to put you in a tube and expect no consequences?”

“No, but they might try to hurt Benrey.” Tommy’s lip started to bleed. Benrey elbowed him to get his attention away from fidgeting.

“Wasn’t supposed to get out. I’m different from Tommy. Not supposed to- don’t wanna talk about it. But I did, and I got out there, and I, mmm, I met someone and then I was brought back and I gotta stick with Tommy so they don’t put me back. Don’t wanna go back in there. Didn’t like it.”

Forzen and Darnold looked horrified, and Tommy couldn’t blame them. They could only imagine what happened. Benrey didn’t notice their expressions. He pulled down his collar, just far enough to let the scar leading up to his shoulder peek out.

“Didn’t like what they did. See, this is from when they lifted all my insides out. Wasn’t very nice of them. Talked a lot the whole time, didn’t listen when I asked them to put them back. I said please, even. The one in charge told me to be quiet, didn’t want me to yell or anything. Got real mad when I tried to move. Didn’t feel good, didn’t get to sleep for a long time ‘cause they kept poking around. They gave me something so it didn’t hurt so bad, but it still hurt. I got really sick after, and they didn’t like that. Don’t remember a lot of it though. So don’t tell anyone. I don’t wanna go back. I didn’t like it there.”

Forzen had turned green, and Darnold’s eyes were squeezed tight. Tommy put a hand on Benrey’s shoulder, wincing.

“Uh, I think they, um, get it, Benrey. They’re not going to tell anyone. But, yeah, we don’t want Benrey to go back to the lab, we want to know what exactly we are, what we can do, and we want to know why we’re here. So, do you… want to help us find out?”

Darnold nodded, opening his eyes and looking up at Tommy. “Of course. We’ll help you any way we can.”

“Bold of you to speak for me,” Forzen grumbled. The scientist grabbed Forzen’s hand, squeezing in warning.

“Mais pourquoi diable me fait ça!? I was going to say yes, Darnold! You’re going to break my fingers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 127 minutes (lmk if theres any problems, i had to post from my phone since my computer crashed)  
> thank you phoenix from the discord server for telling me that canadian french and france french are different, i never wouldve realised how far apart they are otherwise


	13. benrey chill out challenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> split this chap into 2 for pacing reasons, yall can have the next part in a lil bit

The group had been hanging out with the silent promise of pretending Benrey hadn’t been struggling to close his mouth around four thick, tusk-like teeth that had sprouted in the night. He could feel a fifth eye open occasionally when he got particularly irritated with them. Then Tommy’s pager had gone off, sending the scientist running out with a quick apology, and Benrey was left with Tommy’s nerdy crushes. Forzen wasn’t so bad once he had something to do. He was a lot less annoying to Benrey when his attention was focused on _not_ being sarcastic.

Forzen passed over a marker, turning the tic-tac-toe board over to the shifting creature. Benrey growled as the blue ink refused to make a circle in his claws.

“Dude, it’s fine. You don’t have to make any shape as long as it’s blue. I’m using green anyways. Just make a dot or something.”

Benrey tried to protest, but all that came out was gurgling cherry Voice, spilling out around the protruding canines. Forzen wrinkled his nose in disgust, leaning back as it poured over the table and dissipated like heavy smoke. Darnold looked up from the game he was playing, pausing the PlayStation to join them on the floor.

“Benrey, do you want to take a break?” He ventured carefully, taking the marker from Benrey’s dark grey hand and capping it. He watched the creature shake their head vehemently, chewing his lip in thought. Tommy had told him that Benrey struggled to look human when he was stressed. Coloring and games on paper were out of the question when Benrey couldn’t control the growing points his fingers were becoming. Darnold studied a seventh eye cracking open on Benrey’s cheek. Something seemed to click as he watched Benrey run his hands through his tangled hair.

“Benrey, where’s your hat?”

He winced at the high pitched whine, managing to not cover his ears.

“Did you lose it?”

Benrey shook his head, hands flapping frantically around his scalp. He snarled, waving Darnold closer and ducking his head. The intern scooted closer, slowly reaching to card through Benrey’s hair.

He frowned when his fingers snagged on something hard.

“Is that a _tooth_ ?”

“What the fuck?” Forzen perked up from the other side of the table, leaning over to catch sight of the bone white spike. “Teeth go in your mouth, Benrey, not your hair. I know they’re pretty close, being on your head and all, but that would give you away pretty damn quick.”

Darnold smacked Forzen’s shoulder to shut him up, shooting him a look. _Not helping!_

 _Sorry_ , Forzen mouthed back. He shuffled the papers out of his way so he could lean across the table and put a hand on Benrey’s shoulder.

“Hey, uh, buddy, do you want me to get your hat? I know you don’t want to ruin it with the teeth or whatever and all, but I think you might want it right now. It’s your comfort thing, right? Makes you happy? You could just hold it.”

Benrey nodded, chin knocking into his drawn up knees. Where before he was around the same size as Darnold, he was slowly reaching Forzen’s height. Forzen jumped up, dashing across the hall to search Benrey’s room. He spotted it quickly, laying on the desk. It was the only thing in the room that didn’t look standard issue, and the only item besides the bed that looked like it was even touched. He picked it up carefully, knowing damn well that Benrey would freak if anything happened to the baseball cap. Forzen didn’t waste time studying it, running back to Tommy’s dorm to push it into Benrey’s reaching hands.

Benrey shrunk back into shape, curling around the hat and wheezing. Darnold’s hand ran across his back, the best attempt at comfort he could give. Vague sounds were coming from Forzen. He could understand a few, hard as they were to parse.

 _Panic attack_ stuck out. _Why_ was another.

Darnold was closer, right next to him, and his lower voice was easier to listen to. Benrey focused on the explanations, thumbs rubbing the brim of the hat. Darnold’s matter-of-fact tone was calm and even, contrary to Benrey’s racing pulse.

“Benrey likely has anxiety about keeping his form. You saw how frustrated he was getting with the markers. Benrey was losing his fine motor control, which can be really distressing. When a lot of little things build up, it can take anything to send someone over in a full scale panic attack. If you watched, you would’ve seen that the more stressed Benrey was, the harder it was to stay together, and the harder it was to stay calm. It’s a downwards spiral, Forzen. Imagine trying to backfloat. The more you struggle, the harder it is to float. Sometimes the hardest path, relaxing, is what’s best.”

“Why do _you_ know so much about this?” Forzen fidgeted when Benrey’s gaze landed on him. Darnold brushed Benrey’s bangs out of his face, counting four eyes.

“It’s called empathizing, Forzen. You should try it out sometime.”

“No, like, how do you know this shit about Benrey? You just found out he’s an alien like, two days ago and it’s like you have a gamefaq guide already.”

“I’m right here,” Benrey rasped, massaging his sore throat.

Darnold jumped, looking down at Benrey in shock. “Sorry! We’re just trying to figure out how to help, Benrey.”

Benrey shrugged off the comforting hands, getting to his feet with a sway.

“I’m going to bed.”

Forzen followed him across the room, stepping over the spilled markers.

“Are you sure you want to be alone?”

“I’m not alone.” He raised the hat up, glancing over his shoulder at Darnold. “Thanks. I’m tired though. Gonna take a nap, get in some Z’s before Tommy fixes whatever went wrong down there and comes back.”

He shut the door behind himself before the humans could protest, leaning against it with a sigh. Darnold was right about one thing. Once he started losing control, it was hard to get it back. They weren’t as stubborn as Tommy, so they wouldn’t follow. Standing in the default room, he hummed out a few colors to light the darkness. Soft blue illuminated the messy bed sheets, the only inviting sight in his dorm. He shook himself out of the trance and stumbled over to the mattress to flop with a huff.   
He hadn’t gotten his eyes to fade and his claws snagged on the cheap fabric of his pillowcase. The bottom canines had withdrawn for the most part, but the upper fangs still hung out down to his chin and they clacked together when he tried to close his mouth. He set the baseball cap on the pillow instead, rolling over to lay flat on the creaking platform and stare at the fading floating lights. He swiped at one that floated too close, tendrils chasing his fingers as it swirled to nothing.

He’d only said it to be left alone, but now that his heart had slowed and the worst was over, he was exhausted. A nap sounded nice. He didn’t fight the floaty feeling, drifting off slowly with the remnants of his Voice.

Curly brown hair was the first thing he saw, pulled up into a high pony and shoved under a hat just like his, tearing seam and stained band included. No, it really was just his hat. It just seemed to be her turn to wear it. He watched her walk down a hall, thin metal doors lining the walls between heavy wooden ones. She had a backpack, different to the one she brought to the park sometimes. There were little metal charms hanging from a zipper, swinging back and forth as she walked.  
He tapped her shoulder, watching her turn around and spying glasses.

“Those are new.”

She screamed, and pain blossomed where his nose was- had been. His hands came up, gripping tight to his face and feeling the shrunken plane, tracing over the outlines of his eyes, so many coming up- no, this wasn’t right. A rattling hiss echoed around them, and Benrey straightened to protect Freeman, smacking his head into the ceiling.

The sound was coming from Benrey.

It was too late, she was running, sneakers squeaking on tiles and lights flickering as she sprinted down the hall.

“Freeman!” He called, hunching back over to all fours- no, six. Two more arms came from his back, scratching at the linoleum for purchase as he stumbled forwards after her. That wasn’t right. He was scaring her.

“Get away from me!” She slipped on papers that had appeared, scrambling back to her feet as she reached a sudden dead end. She turned, back pressed to the bricks and hands coming up in raised fists. “I’ll punch you again! I’m not afraid of you!”

He froze except for his fingers tapping, speaking clearly despite the needle teeth in his way.

“Come on, Freeman, it hasn’t been that long. Come on, I just wanna talk to you.”

She glanced around, looking for something as she snapped back at him.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are, I don’t want to talk to you! Get out of my head!”

Benrey frowned, sitting back and drawing up his legs to lean back on a pair of hands, the others wrapping around his knees. He looked down at her in disappointment.

“This is a pretty shitty dream. I wanna go back to playing baseball.”

Her head shot up at that, searching his eyes.

“Who are you?”

He grumbled, flexing his jaw in discomfort. “Come on, I look different, but it’s _me_ . Benrey.”

“...Benrey?”

He nodded excitedly, perking up. She took a cautious step forward, brows furrowed and arms crossed as she stared. His heart jumped up to his throat when she came closer, looking up at him.

“I don’t know anyone named Benrey.”

His heart dropped to his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 87 minutes


	14. you know the mind wiping thingy in men in black?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys can have a lil bit of some one sided frenrey for the soul

“Freeman, quit joking around.”

Benrey leaned forward, trying to smile past the underbite, and she backpedaled into the wall again.

“Look, I don’t know what’s happening, but this is just supposed to be a _normal_ nightmare about school, okay? So just, kill me or whatever so I can wake up!” She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists.

“What? I’m- why would I- I’d never- I’d. Why would you think that? You’re my best friend.”

Her eyes opened with curiosity, and Benrey noticed that she wasn’t shaking anymore.

“I’m… what? Wanna run that by me again, there?”

He stood up, remembering to duck this time before his head hit the light. “Hold on, I just, I need to get small. I don’t look like me, you don’t recognize me because I’m big, and I wasn’t this big before, and it’s going to be good once I look like me again, and you’ll recognize me, and we’ll be okay.”

Freeman waited, watching the creature pace in the little space it had. It didn’t shrink.

“You’re not getting smaller.”

It turned, more than a dozen eyes glaring down at her. “Give me my hat.”

“I think you mean _my_ hat.” Freeman stood her ground, squaring her shoulders. It didn’t stop the clawed hand plucking it from her head, pulling out the ponytail and letting her hair fall into her face. She spat it out, pushing it out of her eyes.

“Hey, you-!” She looked around confused before finally noticing the grey boy that stood a little shorter than her. Wearing her hat. Freeman was a lot less nervous about being murdered.

“You can’t just take things from people, you little twerp. Give it back.” She swiped for it, but he danced out of reach. He started walking backwards, hands in his pockets and dodging her attempts to grab the cap. She followed after him, fingers just barely grazing the brim.

“Nuh-uh, you gave it to me. It’s mine, please and thank you. Don’t steal it. How’s the school happening.”

Freeman growled, leaping forward to tackle the boy, when suddenly there was nothing in front of her. Freeman braced herself to hit the floor, jerking to a stop when a pair of arms grabbed around her waist, holding her up.

“Wow, that’s pretty cringe. Freeman can’t, uh, can’t stay up, hah. Guess you’re falling for me.”

He dropped her with a squawk when her elbow hit his stomach, winding the boy and leaving him on the ground. She jumped to her feet, ready to smack him the moment he got close.

“Okay, _weirdo_ , first things first, don’t- don’t _touch_ me. This is _my_ dream and I’m not afraid to kick your ass just because you can turn into some freaky creature with a lot of eyes!”

He rolled over onto his back, gazing up at her with- was that _admiration!?_

“Does your mom still make you wear dresses?”

She gaped at him incredulously, fists falling limp to her sides.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Just miss you, s’all.”

Freeman fumed, storming right up to yell down at him.

“You can’t miss me! We’ve never met! God, what’s wrong with _me?_ I’m talking to- to my subconscious? And it’s asking me if I still wear dresses!” She laughed hysterically, dragging a hand down her face. “Is this- is this some kind of joke on myself? I’m so lonely that the monster from my _nightmare_ is talking to me out of pity? Look, Benrey-”

“I’m not a monster.”

She put her hands on her hips, and the fake smile slipped away, uncovering exhaustion.

“Right, not a monster. Benrey, it’s nice and all that I’m not being eaten by you or something, but this is weird. I’d like to go back to the normal nightmares. So, let’s get it over with.”

Benrey tapped his fingers together, still laying back. From this angle, Freeman was as tall as Tommy. It was kind of a funny thought, if his two best friends were the same height. Freeman would have to crouch to talk to him, and she could carry him around when they went places.

She nudged him with her foot. He’d been quiet too long.

“Huh?”

“Come on, go ahead. Bite my head off or whatever you’re going to do.”

“Nah. I’ll do that later. I wanna talk first.” He got to his feet, brushing off nonexistent dust. Standing up, she _was_ taller than he remembered. Not by much, but he was beginning to have to look up at her. If she got too tall, he’d have to shift so that she wouldn’t have to bend down, but then he would have his claws, and they weren’t very good for being careful.

“How’re we gonna hold hands?”

She pushed her glasses up to the top of her head, scrubbing her eyes in frustration. “Look, just- just get out my head. Go. Get out and- and leave me alone, or if you have to stick around, then just make it quick so I can go back to sleep before my alarm goes off.”

He felt his chest pang, hand coming up to grip at the material over the spot. “But, no, I can’t do that, I can’t go. What if I don’t see you again? You’ll forget about me all over, can’t do that. Don’t know how I did it this time, can’t pick what I dream about, and it’s not- it’s not real like this. I don’t dream.”

“Yeah, it’s not normal for me either.”

She moved, and the scene shifted. They stood in a room full of desks facing a whiteboard. Counters around the edges of the room held equipment, some familiar and some foriegn to Benrey. He recognized a set of tools too well. Benrey laughed nervously, taking a step towards the door when she walked over to it.

“Hey, Freeman, you’re not gonna dissect me like some kinda frog, are you? That’d be pretty lame. Think that stuff is a little small scale for me anyways. Didn’t know you were some kinda, uh, scientist freak. Freeman?”

He flinched when she turned back, holding- only a marker. She brushed past him to reach the board, silently drawing a T-chart as he babbled.

“If you’re really mad at me or something, can you just tell me? Make it a whole lot easier on me than just making me guess if you’re mad. I don’t want you to be mad, actually, not like mad like you won’t talk to me. I’d rather have you be yelling at me if you’re going to be mad at me.”

“Shut up for a minute.”

She’d been writing on one side, under the column labeled _BAD_. Freeman stuck out her tongue when she stretched up to label the chart, leaning against the board for support to reach. _BENRY_ , a little squiggly towards the end as she strained to stay on her toes, was underlined.

“Why does everyone spell it like that?”

She turned around at that, baffled.

“What are you talking about?”

“There’s another ‘e’, before the ‘y’. Everyone spells my name wrong. Kinda rude, if you ask me. Freeman doesn’t even know how to spell my name, sucky best friend. Freeman, more like, uh, Rudeman.” Benrey hopped up on a desk, at ease now that she was talking back. He raised a brow at her list, crossing his arms. “Wow. What, is this some to-do list you got going on? I get it if you wanna like, flirt with me, but you don’t gotta write it, you can just do it. I’m chill with it, we can even hold hands after or whatever. I’m pretty good at it, I had four earlier but like just two is good too. Just like other people. Gotta warn me if you wanna, a little kiss from Benrey over here though, got told my teeth are pretty fucked up.”

Freeman crossed out the _FLIRTING_ , writing _ANNOYING_ under it instead. “These are things _you’ve_ done, that give me no reason to trust you. And this,” she pointed at the other column, left blank, “is the list for things that make me trust you. See the difference?”

“One’s a lot longer.”

“Yes, it is, Benrey. You better start adding to that other side if you want me to believe we’ve met before.”

Benrey pouted, swinging his feet. “Damn, I don’t know what you want from me. I’m just being me, just being Benrey, and all I did was say hi and you hit me. That was really mean. Everything I did was because you hit me, and it hurt a lot.”

Freeman capped the marker and crossed her own arms.“You looked like a literal nightmare, which you can apparently control. You should’ve looked like a kid before talking to me. Try again.”

He puffed his cheeks in embarrassment, staring at his bare feet poking out of grey sweatpants. He was wearing some of Tommy’s clothes, he was pretty sure. They had to be. He only had one outfit, if he didn’t include his hat as making the ensemble a different outfit. Oh, right, Freeman had said something about that.

“Can’t pick it on purpose, needed the hat to do it. Can’t look like me when I don’t have my hat. Makes me happy so I can look like me. You gave it to me, and that made me happy, so now whenever I have my hat, it’s easier to be happy, you get it? My hat makes me think of you, and you make me happy to think about. That’s all.”  
He glanced up at the sound of the marker squeaking, squinting at the first addition to the _GOOD_ side.

“Yeah, that’s me. Answers questions really good. I’m good at that. I’d never leave you hanging. Ask me something else.” He preened, leaning forward to smirk at her.

“You’ve done the bare minimum. I just felt bad for you.” Freeman deadpanned. “If you’re not just a figment of my imagination, how do you know what I like to be called?”

“You told me. You asked my name after you said you’re Freeman, and then we played baseball. It was a while ago, I guess. Can’t believe you don’t remember me kicking your ass though. I thought that would’ve stuck with you.” Benrey hopped off the desk, weaving his way through the rows to stand next to Freeman.

Freeman scowled at him.

“Okay, what do you know about me?”

Benrey grinned back.

“Your name is Freeman, because you like it better than your first name. You like the color blue but not really, because you don’t care. You like baseball and soccer, but you don’t like basketball or football that much. You like gross stuff like slugs and dead birds and you don’t care if you sit in the dirt. You think my teeth are weird but you put your hand in my mouth anyways. You dared me to put my own hand in my mouth and gave me a donut because I did it, and then you told me you’d have given me the donut anyways. We shared soda because you could only get one out of the vending machine across the street from the park, and you got mad when I drank most of it but you laughed too because it got up my nose. I really like your laugh because it’s happy. You hate the dresses that your mom gets you, but I like them, because you look really nice even if you don’t think so.”

She shook her head, holding her hands up. “Stop.”

“Huh?”

“Stop with the- the flirting. It’s… making me uncomfortable. Even if you’re not just a hallucination, it’s weird.”

“What?”

Freeman hissed, rubbing her eyes under her glasses. “You’re creeping me out!”

“I’m just, uh, just being honest how you wanted.” Benrey tilted his head, still looking at Freeman as if they’d hung the moon and stars. “Do you want me to lie instead? I don’t know how good I can do that, if you do.”

“No, I just- this is fucked up!” Freeman stepped back, putting space between herself and Benrey.

“I don’t think I’m creative enough to make _you_ , so you have to be real, right? Which means you’re in my head, and what, you think we’re friends? I don’t know who you are, but you know all this stuff about me! Look at this from my side, buddy. Some monster shows up, and instead of a classic nightmare where I get eaten and wake up in a cold sweat, it starts _talking_ to me, and says we’re best friends, but I don’t know it! You’re either telling the truth, or a _really_ good liar, because I’m starting to believe you, and I don’t know which is worse. Either I really don’t remember something like you, and for some reason I don’t remember what seems to be a pretty important thing in my life, or you’re fucking with me. Do you get it?”

“Oh,” was all he said. She watched him read the board over, gnawing on his lip and wrinkling his nose.

“Must be because I had to go back,” Benrey murmured. “He took me back and that’s why you don’t remember me. He must’ve made you forget, ‘cause I wasn’t supposed to get out. Top secret.”

Freeman paused, having been about to throw the marker at him to get a reaction. “Who made me forget?”

Benrey jumped as if he didn’t realize he spoke out loud.

“The, the man, I think. Who took me away. Except he’s not a man, he’s like Tommy and me. We’re not human, and I wasn’t supposed to get out. But I did, so he came after me and took me back. Didn’t put me in the lab though, that was different.”

Freeman froze, ice shooting down her spine. “Are you saying you’re some kind of experiment that got out of containment, and I was memory wiped to cover it up? Is that why I don’t remember you? I don’t… oh god, I don’t remember last summer. You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

“I knew you were smart,” Benrey beamed, flashing his sharp teeth in pride at his friend.

“Thanks,” she muttered. “Now, what are you doing in my dreams?”

Benrey started scrubbing the chart off the board with his sleeve, taking the marker from Freeman’s hand.

“How much do you know about Black Mesa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 176 minutes because i rewrote the whole chapter to make it a lot nicer for benrey for yall :,)


	15. whiteboards are a good medium for brainstorming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one kicked my ass bc i knew the beginning and end i wanted but i had to fill in the between

Freeman frowned, biting her lip and thinking hard. “Black Mesa… the research facility? They’re working on deep space probes, and they’re usually competing with Aperture for awards. Last week the news said they were launching their first experimental probe this year.”

Benrey shrugged. “Yeah, sure, I mean, whatever, but I mean what they’re  _ really _ doing.”

“I’m gonna guess they’re making deep sea monsters in the basement,” Freeman hummed..

“Actually we’re aliens.”

“Alright, enough joking. What are they actually doing there?”

Benrey stared blankly until Freeman laughed nervously. “Benrey? You in there? Come on, tell me what’s happening at Black Mesa.”

“I just said. We’re aliens.”

She sighed and crossed her arms. “Let’s assume I believe you on that. Why is Black Mesa making aliens? Are they going to send you into space or something?”

Benrey shook his head, stepping past Freeman to start drawing. “No, I don’t think Gman would send Tommy into space, he’d probably make something else to do that. Maybe something like me, but I don’t think he’d do that now. Tommy and me, we’re friends. It’d make Tommy pretty upset if I left.”

She moved back to look at what he drew, what seemed to be- “Floor plans? Is that what Black Mesa is like inside?”

“Far as I know, man. Haven’t been everywhere, just uh…” He pointed to each box. “Labs. The hall where I live now. Cafeteria. Break room. Vents. Don’t tell them. That’s not supposed to be uh, accessible to people without clearance. Didn’t have the credentials, but I went in anyways and the vents all led up in the end. If you, uh, if you follow the arrows, they all go up, and you can get out. Sometimes you gotta get out though, get to another one on the floor to climb up. They aren’t all big enough to get through.”

Freeman took the marker and traced the lines over, mumbling to herself while Benrey watched. She looked a lot different since the last time he’d seen her. Fewer freckles, those black rimmed glasses, and her hair was longer.

“Where did you go?”

She turned to him, brows raised in question. He hastily amended the question.

“You uh, you said you were coming back tomorrow, that day, and then I waited and waited and you never came back. And then they took me back, and maybe this is what they meant when they said I’d see you again but it’s not the same and it’s not fair.”

Freeman shrugged, going back to darkening Benrey’s scribbles.

“I can’t tell you, remember? I don’t know.”

Benrey huffed in frustration, crossing his arms and sulking. “You had a surprise for me though. I wanted to see it.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s not fine. It’s not your fault, though.”

“I’ll be sure to put that on my list of complaints.” Freeman straightened up, mock-tightening a tie.    
“Excuse me, sir, you erased my memory and made my friend sad. I’m going to need some compensation for emotional trauma here, or the repercussions will be quite tremendous.”

Benrey’s eyes had glazed over halfway through. 

“What is it  _ now _ ?”

“You called us friends!”

“Well, I’m stuck with you, might as well make it bearable. Come on, what else do you know?”

Benrey pointed to the corner she had grabbed the marker from. “Get me my own. Please? Don’t wanna- don’t have to keep trading. Need to write but so do you, you know?”

Freeman shook her head. “No way, get your own. It’s ten feet. Come on. I know you can walk. You chased me down the hall well enough.”

He shifted, more eyes peering up at her from under the brim of the hat. “Please? Don’t wanna go near the stuff.”

“The stuff?” She followed his finger, catching sight of the dissection kit. “Oh. Okay, but this is the only time I’m getting something for you. You can get your own... whatever else.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled, fidgeting while she approached the counter. His hands slipped into clawed points when she picked up a scalpel instead. 

“Uh, Freeman? Whatcha doing there?”

She glanced back, jumping at the high pitched squeak when Benrey flinched back. It clattered to the floor. “Jeez, you’re really scared of these, aren’t you?” She leaned down to return it to the set, missing the slits his pupils turned into.

“It’s just a little knife, Benrey. There’s nothing to be scared of, it’s not like I’m going to...”

“Huh?” He finally broke from the staredown with the tools when Freeman gripped his shoulders.

“Benrey, I didn’t mean to scare you, you know I don’t want to do anything like that, right?”

“What?”

“I don’t know how to prove I won’t, you just have to trust me like I’m trusting you, okay? I’m  _ not _ going to hurt you. I  _ promise. _ ”

He just nodded, only catching the last lines. She trusted him. He could trust her.

“Okay, we need to get you out. Here, write down everything you know about this ‘Gman’. I’ll start brainstorming. Black Mesa has an internship program, I’m sure if I can get in, I can find you. I’m too young, technically, so I’ll have to ace that stupid exam, but I know I can do it. I don’t know how, but I’ll get you out of there!”

He must’ve missed something.

“Why?”

She froze.

“Why  _ what _ , Benrey?”

“Why are you helping me? You don’t know me anymore, you said.”

She grit her teeth, and he shuddered at the glint in her eye. Despite the hard look, she was gentle when she grabbed his clawed hand, running her fingers over like she was smoothing fabric, until the tips were rounded and sickly grey once more.  _ Freeman catches on quick _ , his idle mind mumbled.

“Maybe. But you know  _ me _ , and that means you should know I don’t leave my friends behind.”

The ground shook at that, barely letting Freeman finish the last word. Benrey heard glass shatter as beakers fell over and the lights flickered.

“What the fuck was that? You waking up or something?”

“I don’t think so, but how should I know? I’ve never shared a dream with anyone.”

Chills poured like liquid down Benrey’s back, making him shiver. Freeman mirrored him, rubbing her arms for warmth. She looked down at her hands, shocked.

“I’m dreaming, so... I shouldn’t be able to feel cold, right?”

“No, but-”

She reached for him as the world juddered, catching herself by grabbing his outstretched arms. Two more than before steadied her, helping Freeman straighten up so she could see his face, or what was left of the humanoid pieces. Eyes blinking back from his cheeks, forehead, jaw,  _ neck _ , teeth sticking out far past his thin lips, black hair spilling like oil out from under the hat: Benrey was once again a nightmare. Freeman bit back a scream, fingers digging into Benrey’s arms as she fought not to fight him.

“No but  _ what _ ?”

“You can feel anything in your head when  _ he’s _ around.”

“Very astute... Benrey.”

Freeman winced as the claws on her shoulders sharpened, though the points were quick to withdraw. She couldn’t twist to see with the creature’s grip, but whatever had appeared behind her frightened Benrey enough to double his size. Freeman squinted up at his pinprick slitted eyes, a few flicking down at her as the rest focused on a point above her head. She braced herself against his chest to push away, pausing when she felt the rumble almost drowning out the unsteady thumps. He growled low, lips pulling up into an ugly snarl and sending her pulse skyrocketing. Whatever scared Benrey couldn’t be nearly as terrifying as the manic flash in his eyes.

“Let me go, asshole!”

He blatantly ignored the demand, tightening his hold.

“Benrey, you heard the... girl. Let her go. Nobody needs to be hurt, this time. Just let her go, and there won’t be any… serious consequences. This will be easy to clean up.”

“Benrey, you’re scaring me!”

She started to struggle, making the creature hiss when an arm got free of his grasp. Freeman scrambled to grab a fistfull of Benrey’s hair, pulling his head down to her level. His eyes dropped to her face.

_ Wake me up _ , she mouthed.

“Benrey, I’m waiting. Or do you want this to get, ah, messy?”

Wake Freeman up. Wake Freeman up. How to wake Freeman up. What did she say earlier?  _ Kill me or whatever so I can wake up _ \- no, no no no no. The eyes closest to her widened, and he watched her nod through a haze. Humans got hurt so easily, this wasn’t a normal dream, there was no telling what would happen.

She scowled at his paralyzation, ripping herself out of his grasp. He didn’t expect it, and neither did the mysterious voice because she slipped by the tall figure smoothly to stand next to the supplies that Benrey had been so afraid of approaching. Her hand scrabbled for the displaced tool, fighting the haze off as footsteps started to approach with the  _ clack clack _ of formal shoes. She turned back to catch one last glimpse of the monster boy, before raising the little blade in her left hand.

“I promise, Benrey.”

Freeman brought it down, aimed for her arm, but before it connected, the world went dark.

  
  
  


Benrey woke with a gasp, clutching his pounding chest. The room was lit with cherry red Voice, casting a dim glow over the sheets tossed on the floor. He must have done that in his sleep. He had a weird dream, where he saw-

Freeman!

He ripped his sleeve up, frantically searching for any marks. Benrey sighed in relief when he couldn’t spot any sign of a wound on his right arm. His left arm, on the other hand, itched like hell. He pulled that one up more carefully, nerves almost getting the best of him before he caught sight of the thick black lines.

Benrey grinned at the words.

**_BENREY - BLACK MESA_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 169 minutes hell yeahhhhh this chapter was cookin in my brain and i didnt want to drop it until it was nice and toasted. also i fixed the formatting so theres para breaks now


	16. dad said its MY turn to be the protagonist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy time, boys....

He rushed down the stairs, ignoring the ping of his pager. He’d already answered, and with the elevator out of service, there was no way he could hurry any faster. Of course, the Epsilon lab was on the lower levels,  _ of course _ , because his dad didn’t want anything getting out, and  _ of course _ the only elevator that reached the floor was out. He thundered down, ducking his head and narrowly avoiding the doorframe as he skidded to the checkpoint. He fumbled for his pockets, handing the pager over to the guard to be shut off. Tommy held up his ID, panting.

“Doctor Tommy Coolatta, head researcher, Lambda Lab, reporting for containment.”

The guard reached up to scan the barcode, stepping to the side as Tommy straightened. He glanced down, noting the disturbed look on the guard’s face.

_ Shit. _

His eyes must be glowing again. It wasn’t entirely due to nerves, the dim red emergency lights were just hard to see in. It still set the guards on edge. Tommy pushed forwards into the checkpoint, standing to the side as guards uneasily gripped their weapons and moved away. Right. If he wanted to do this right, he had to calm down. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He could feel his pager back in his hand, his ID card in the other, his lab coat too tight across his shoulders, and his foot tapping against the floor. He could smell sweat, the tang of iron, and the stench of paranoia. He could hear loud hearts pounding away under kevlar, the scrape of clenched teeth, and the quiet murmur as a guard popped their knuckles.

That was the problem with the B-4-R guards. They got antsy, but they were easy and quick to produce. It was a shame they were called down to the Epsilon labs. Not one of them recalled their place of creation with fond memories.

Tommy opened his eyes back up, smiling kindly down at the guards who quickly relaxed. One of the braver ones handed him his equipment, still glancing back at the steel doors sealing the Epsilon lab away. He leaned down to get a better look at the stocky guard, one of the younger ones. They couldn’t have been much younger than Tommy. He carefully rested a hand on their shoulder, catching their attention.

He wasn’t as good with it on most of the cloned humans, but he could try.

“Hey there. It’s gonna be okay, alright? I’m here, and you don’t have to go in. My name’s Tommy, and I’m going to take care of the problem.”

He felt the click in the guard’s mind as they sighed, shoulders falling. Good, he could do this easily. The B-4-R guards responded well. Maybe that’s why he always ended up working with them? He shook off the thoughts. He had to focus on keeping the guards calmed down.

“What’s your name?”

“Uh, Unit-116142, Doctor-”

“Not your number, your name.”

They looked down bashfully, clenching a fist around their belt pack. “Barney.”

“Okay, Barney. Is that  _ your _ name or the group name?”

“Both. I liked it.”

Tommy smiled, patting their back. “Okay, Barney. Tell the others that Tommy is taking care of it, okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you, and you won’t have to go in.”

Barney nodded, turning to do what Tommy said. As soon as they left Tommy’s touch, the alien sensation faded. Tommy returned to his full height, pressing forward to greet his partner for their mission. The older gentleman had a thick bushy mustache, happily strapping on his equipment over his lab coat. Tommy quietly set his own down on the bench, peeling off his coat to gear up. They moved quickly, though Tommy wasn’t quite as smooth as the scientist he was beginning to recognize. He could start up a conversation when he was ready to go.

His final piece layed on the bench, almost mockingly. His least favorite item. Tommy tested the weight of the tool, flexing his fingers uncomfortably.

“I’ve never used  _ these _ before. I don’t think I can do this, especially not to… you know.” He squeezed the trigger, listening to the empty chamber click. The other scientist handed him a round, loading his own weapon. “I know the containment’s necessary, so we can monitor them, but don’t you think this is a little too, um, far for- far for one subject, Dr. Coomer?”

The older man smiled up at him, reaching up to pat his shoulder reassuringly. The pleasant grin and jovial tone didn’t quite match his answer. “Oh, there’s more than one loose on this level! Now, Tommy, the tranquilizers are for the prototypes. I promise, specimen thirteen-version-one-point-three-beta-one-epsilon is of no threat to you as long as you keep in mind to wear your Black Mesa standard issue heat tolerant lab coat!”

“How- how do you know which one is thirteen, beta version- uh, the epsilon? How can we tell?” Tommy finally opened the barrel, peaking at the freshly cleaned mechanisms. 

Dr. Coomer grinned, holstering the gun. “I’ve heard that unlike the prototypes, the epsilon subject can speak fluent English and often swears!”

“You’ve never met them- but you’re- you’re the head scientist of the Epsilon lab!”

“Incorrect! I’m head scientist of the  _ Upsilon _ lab! It’s quite different. Besides, the head scientist of the Epsilon lab is in no shape to be trapezing around down here. I would not recommend entering the subject’s chamber, even if the tube wasn’t shattered like fine sand! We’ll simply have to use an older tube for containment, and those would be past the prototypes. Remember, aim for their limbs! We can’t risk damaging any vital organs.” With that, Dr. Coomer turned on his heel, motioning for the security guard to open the elevator doors and let them pass.

The ride down was silent but for the hum of the elevator and the nervous tapping of Tommy’s shoe. He studied the shorter man, noting his round features and kindly eyes. In the quiet, he could hear whirring and clicks as the scientist crossed his arms. Tommy’s attention flicked to the thin metallic band around the man’s wrist, embedded in the skin. Right. His father had given him a rundown before he’d accepted his position.

Dr. Coomer was his predecessor before migrating to the Upsilon unit. The Lambda lab under Dr. Coomer’s lead was formerly the leading department in cybernetics and robotics. Their projects included a wide array of creating automatons, designing androids and service drones, and crafting prosthetics. With a lack of volunteers, Dr. Coomer had tested out most of the prosthetics himself, and decided he’d liked them quite well. He was rumored to be more machine than human, and though Tommy didn’t care much for supporting gossip, he’d seen enough of the old project files.

This was not a man born of Black Mesa, but rather, willingly molded by it.

Dr. Coomer smiled blankly at the doors, only snapping out of his trance when the soft chime sounded. The doors peeled open to a dingy hall, flickering lights and broken glass spilling across the floor. Tommy tried not to look at a red handprint that dragged across the tile, the victim long ago pulled further into the dim lab. Papers had been shredded, years of research scattered as far as the eye could see in the dark. He was jostled out of his thoughts by a jolly elbow bouncing against his side.

“Come now, Dr. Coolatta, we must hurry before the prototypes find the ventilation system! We can’t have an incident like that occur again, can we?”

Tommy’s thin smile froze, lagging behind the enthusiastic scientist. “I, uh, Dr. Coomer? Are you- um, talking about-”

Dr. Coomer put a finger to his lips, though it didn’t offset the click of a hammer cocking. “Quietly, now, Tommy. Some of the prototypes have excellent hearing. Though, I suppose some idle chatter will help soothe your nerves. It’s not everyday that a young scientist puts his containment training to use. Would you like to hear about the Epsilon lab’s previous experiments? One down, sixteen to go.”

He bit back a yelp as the scientist shot a shadowed form in the corner. It slumped over with a groan, falling into a pool of light from an open door. Tommy shuddered at the little vial sticking out from the thin grey arm.

Maybe if he kept Dr. Coomer talking, he wouldn’t notice that Tommy had no intention of fighting the remaining prototypes.

“Maybe, um, tell me about your favorite project? That they did here, in Epsilon. Or Upsilon, even, if you want to.”

Dr. Coomer hummed, leaning around a doorframe to glance at a trashed lounge. “My favorite? Well, there are so many to choose from, I’m not sure I can pick just one! Subject twenty three version four sighted.” Tommy leaned back, hugging the wall and pointedly looking at the ceiling as Dr. Coomer let off two shots. He listened to the clinking of more vials as the man reloaded, finally looking down when he emerged from the room.

“Two down, fifteen to go. Well, the one that got away, that was an interesting experiment. I never got to see the results, but it was quite fun designing the creature!”

Tommy’s head shot up at that. Wait-  _ Coomer _ had  _ personally _ worked on Benrey? This was his chance to get some information on his friend, he just had to keep him talking. Surely the scientist would spill something he didn’t yet know. Tommy was good at nudging people for details, even if he wasn’t comfortable tricking them. It would be fine. Coomer wouldn’t be fired for talking to Tommy, he could do this. For- well, Benrey didn’t care. For himself, then.

He was pulled from his thoughts as Dr. Coomer tossed the tracking device at him. 

“Um, Dr. Coomer, what do you mean by designed? If this is the experiment I’m thinking of, I thought that he- I mean the, uh, base subject,” he winced at calling his friend that, “was already there, you just had to figure out how to grow it? According to the reports that were left. Oh, there’s one further ahead. Subject twelve, version one. On the left.”

“Lower voices for twelves, now. And Tommy? You don’t need to call me Doctor down here. Coomer will do just fine.”

Tommy nodded, letting the man press ahead alone. He waited for the groan and thump before following. Coomer tapped his chin as he waited, eyes scrunched tight as he thought hard.

“Well, it’s not all there anymore. This was long before your time, oh, say, fifteen or so years? The boss had come down, I believe. Had a baby boy on his hip, and told us to take some scans of his head. Then he gave Dr. Breen a sequencing sheet, and told us to start recreating that little boy from some strange samples.”

Coomer started down the hall again, one hand on the holster at his hip and the other flexing into a fist.

“It wasn’t like anything I’d ever seen, Tommy. I’d made plenty of clones in Epsilon, back before I transferred to Lambda, but he never asked us to make something new that way. We did manage to figure it out eventually, though there was quite the problem with keeping it alive.”

Tommy narrowly avoided plowing into Coomer as they stopped.

“What do you mean by keeping it alive? I thought Be- the subject, uh, was also a little boy? Like the one you scanned. Weren’t we- um, they, the same kind of thing?”

Coomer chuckled, turning around to glance at the screen of the tracker.

“Oh no. They were very different! The first child was no human, but he was quite the creature! Sharp little claws, pointed teeth, unruly hair and very intelligent for such a young thing. Spoke in full sentences and even corrected Dr. Breen. Lovely yellow eyes, I was told. Of course, I’m colorblind, so what do I know?”

“Coomer, do you know what he was?” Tommy gulped, thumbing the panic button on the Black Mesa Prototype Subject Tracker. He was actually going to have his hypothesis proven right or wrong, once and for all.

“Not a clue!”

“Oh.”

“Now, let’s get the other thirteen prototypes and find Epsilon!”

Tommy trailed after Coomer, letting the older scientist take care of each prototype and calling out when one was close. Coomer didn’t seem to notice that Tommy didn’t pull his gun on any of the prototypes. That, or he was too polite to mention that Tommy’s knees turned to jelly every time they drew near one.

He finally got the chance, and nerves, to talk again when Coomer neutralized the fourteenth target.

“Um, Doctor- I mean, Coomer, what about the one you made? Why was it hard to keep stable?”

“Well, Tommy, it’s hard to keep a parasite alive without a host!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 169 minutes ~~heh nice~~
> 
> please forgive me for being a lil late in my defense it was my birthday yesterday TuT


	17. call of duty didnt prepare tommy for this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cut this one in half. it was originally longer but i want the next part to go a lil different so i gotta rework it. in the meantime, come get yalls food, tommy lovers

The tracker slipped from his grip, barely caught before hitting the ground by Tommy’s frantic hand. “I’m, heh, pretty sure I misheard you. Did you say a... parasite?

Coomer raised a brow at that. “I thought you read the reports. I was quite extensive on the properties of the creature. It was quite the work around, designing the body for the specimen. It was never truly alive, of course. We had to grow a brain for the body, but even by the most generous of definitions, it was practically dead. There was little activity in it, reserved for the involuntary processes, but there was still quite a bit of power packed in! We’d hoped it would take up some of the traits as it gained control of the body. I don’t know if it did or not, and I don’t know if it survived beyond the implant. I left the lab before I could see,” Coomer sighed. He raised his weapon, and Tommy managed to not flinch when the round made contact.

“Fifteen down, one and Epsilon to go. We’re in the home stretch now, Tommy! Let’s see if we can finish before an early dinner! Come along!”

Coomer stepped over the prone form laying across the dirty tile. Tommy edged around it, trying not to look too hard at the prototype. He didn’t know what would happen to the prototypes once they finished their rounds and caught Epsilon. He hoped they would just go back to containment, not that Black Mesa had a habit of keeping problems around. Benrey was a bit special in that regard. Benrey, his best friend, the parasite. Oh.

_Oh._

If he and Benrey were the same thing…

Tommy decided to think about the _other_ thing Coomer had said. Something that stuck out from the rambling speech.

“I never saw your name on any of the files or reports.”

That stopped Coomer in his tracks, before Tommy ran right into his back. He bounced off the sturdy figure, landing on the floor next to the softly wheezing creature. Tommy scrambled to his feet with a yelp, grabbing onto Coomer’s coat as the prototype twitched. Coomer raised a brow, gently pulling Tommy’s hands off.

“I was one of the leading scientists on that project. My name was all over it! Are you telling me that Breen wiped me off the record? Oh, I’m going to _crush_ what’s left of that-”

“Doctor Coomer?”

Tommy’s high pitched voice caused the doctor to spin around, gun aimed down the hall. He scanned the empty doorways, fingering the trigger. An insistent tug on his sleeve brought his attention back to Tommy.

“My boy, there’s no need to panic! I thought you’d seen one of the subjects sneaking up!”

“Sorry, I-”

“And you may call me Coomer.”

“Sorry.”

He put a hand over Tommy’s patting reassuringly. He didn’t have a pulse in his hand. Tommy could feel the soft buzz of mechanical pieces moving through the contact.

Coomer peered up at the softly glowing eyes, brows furrowed into a kindly frown. “Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong. Now, what did you need?”

Tommy ducked his head, rubbing his neck. “Sor- um. Well, I didn’t mean to startle you, but you were going off on a tangent, and I wanted to ask before I forgot, if, you maybe would like, see, to know what happened to the project? After we finish here, of course, I mean, can’t just call in the sweepers when the containment isn't over, right?” He laughed anxiously, jumping when a heavy hand clapped his shoulder.

“I would love to know what became of little Benny!”

Tommy paused once more, reeling from the revelation. “Benny? Did you just say _Benny_?”

“Of course, that’s what I named the little creature! Benny, as in Benjamin. Men of science don’t have time for children, Tommy. That’s why we name our favorite projects. Let’s go! It’s not far to the tube storage!”

Tommy slapped a hand over his mouth, barely containing a snort. _Benjamin_. Oh, Benrey would never live it down. He stumbled across broken tile after the stocky scientist, forcing down his giggles as the weight of the situation sunk back in. “Okay, okay, the screen shows that the last prototype should be in the next hall, it’s prototype four-version-niner-November-five-epsilon.”

It was quick work, one of the slower ones that groaned as it moved. Tommy watched a ceiling light flicker as Coomer finished the job. He clicked the tracker over to the last target, frowning at the screen. That couldn’t be right.

“Coomer, is there any reason we’d lose signal?”

He got no response. Tommy looked up, scanning the hall for the older man.

“Coomer? Did you go ahead without me?” He shuffled forward, peeking around the corner where the short fight had taken place.

The hall was empty but for a streak of red that led further in.

The only sound he could hear was the high pitched whine of the lights, buzzing incessantly at the back of his thoughts. Thoughts. He had to think this through, in an unfamiliar lab, with a missing partner and a dangerous subject loose. He grit noticeably sharper teeth. One lower classed prototype unaccounted for, Coomer possibly horribly injured, the lights on the fritz. No, think rationally. It wasn’t enough blood to hurt Coomer. It could be the prototype’s, if it weren’t for the color. The prototypes didn’t bleed red. Coomer bled red. Tommy wasn’t watching because he wasn’t comfortable and now Coomer was gone. Coomer might’ve been ambushed while Tommy was looking at the lights. He was attacked and he was human, he had trouble seeing in the dimmed light. No, that wouldn’t make sense. There would’ve been noise. Think about the- the fucking lights-

Tommy lashed out.

The bulb above him shattered with a _crack_ , sending shards of glass skittering across the ground. _It wasn’t enough,_ he screamed in his head. He could still hear it, the buzzing, constant and awful, overpowering, _overwhelming_ , he had to do something. Tommy dropped to his knees, clawing the cover off the nearest socket and shoving his hand in to grab the exposed wires.

The lights up and down the hall burst, the burned sockets only giving off a few weak sparks before the hum died.

 _Finally_ , it was quiet.

Benrey taught him a lot from his escape.

Tommy swiped his knuckles across his mouth, hissing at the sting and tang of iron. He peered at the tracker, eyes quickly adjusting to the low red of emergency lights. The backlight on the screen was out, that might be why it didn’t show a signal.

Or it was because Tommy had crushed it and the motherboard was snapped in half, poking out the back.

He dropped the useless equipment, pulling his hand out of his mouth to study the cuts. No glass had embedded in the skin, and they were all shallow. It could be ignored for now. He had a job to do. He had to find Coomer, before an encore of whatever happened to Doctor Breen. Tommy shucked off his lab coat, wrapping it around his waist and pulling the gun from his holster. The syringes had to come out.

Epsilon had escalated the situation. First priority was rescue and recovery.

“Page fourteen. Paragraph two. When a subject endangers the containment team beyond bodily harm, or death is suspected, lethal retaliation is acceptable.” Tommy’s whispers echoed down the hall, preluding his soft footsteps. One round slid in easily. There was a little more resistance from the second and third.

“A report will be submitted to determine if the action was necessary. Responsibility falls on the containment team to return safely with all subjects neutralized. When required, this includes termination of a dangerous subject.” He thumbed the hammer, bringing it back with a click.

“To qualify as a containment specialist requires the applicant to be in good physical shape and have passed a psychological test. Aim in simulations must reach a ninety five percent accuracy total.” He stooped under a doorframe, sweeping the door off its remaining hinge as he passed. Claws clicked on the textured grip of his gun, scraping curls of metal off as he tightened his hold. The room was filled with tables, much like the cafeteria so many levels above, and covered in a layer of dust and broken glass. Tommy ran a finger along the plastic back of a chair, wiping the plaster particles off on his pants. The remains of the industrial bulbs crunched under his shoes until he stopped at a pillar with charred metal shards embedded in it. He followed the trajectory path up to the ceiling, frowning at the scorch marks.

He didn’t mean to take out the _whole_ level’s electricity, just the hall. He just needed a moment of peace.

Tommy crossed to the other end of the room, nudging the door open and squinting into the darkness. He’d blown the emergency lights in this section, but he could still make out the outlines of rubble. He crept forward down the halls, trusting his instinct to lead him to Coomer. The silence of the lab grated on his nerves, but not nearly as much as the drone of electricity.

Tommy slid past a branching hall before freezing, ears perking up at a cough. He spun slowly, laser focused on the soft huff of a breath. Down the hall, he could hear it. Another short inhale.

Tommy flew across the tile, slipping through the doorway and sliding to a stop on his knees, gun holstered and tugging at the man on the ground.

“Doctor Coomer! What happened‽”

The scientist batted off his hands, pushing himself to a sitting position. Coomer wavered, shaking his head. “Damn subject got the drop on me. Help me up, Coolatta.”

Tommy squinted in the dark, trying to see if his dilated eyes were different sizes. It didn’t seem like it, though Coomer squinted right back at him. Loss of vision was normal for a concussion, which seemed to track with the dizziness and dark bruise on his temple.

“Are- are you sure you’re okay? You’re breathing really hard. Should I carry you?”

“I can walk fine, let’s just get back to the security point.” 

Tommy hesitated a moment too long, jumping when Coomer put his hand on his shoulder and pulled himself to standing. He followed the older man out of the room, fretting and twisting his hands together.

“Um, Doctor Coomer, what about the containment? We’re not supposed to leave until we’re done clearing the floor.”

“I can’t clear the floor without my gun.”

Tommy’s eyes widened, finally looking down at Coomer’s clothing. His containment equipment was gone, the only remaining item being his lab coat now blackened with ash and ripped along the hem. Coomer caught him staring, forcing a grim smile onto his face.

“I’m fine. Let’s get to the checkpoint.”

“Okay, if you’re sure…” Tommy trailed off, lagging behind as Coomer walked unsteadily. They progressed through the halls, back through the cafeteria and towards the entrance. The only sound that accompanied them was Coomer’s labored breathing and the click of Tommy’s nails on his weapon. The quiet was interrupted once, while Coomer leaned on a metal wall locker under an emergency light to catch his breath.

“What happened to the lights?”

“Oh, I… might maybe possibly just have overloaded them. It’s, it’s nothing too bad, it’s repairable, but the sound, it was really loud, and I couldn’t think or hear and I needed to find you, so I had to get rid of them. Pulled off a socket, it was easier than breaking them all one at a time.” Tommy flipped the safety on and off as he spoke. Coomer watched his hands, forehead creased with a frown.

“How did you do that without any tools?”

Tommy glanced down, weighing the pros and cons of telling.

“It’s a trick I learned from someone with the same enhancements.”

“They really do experiment on _all_ the scientists, don’t they?” He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Tommy’s mouth snapped shut, unsure of how to answer. He decided to raise his own concerns. “I think you have a bad concussion, Doctor Coomer. You’ve been unsteady, and you’re clearly not feeling well. Irritability and memory loss are serious signs.”

“I told you, I’m fine! I just need to get a gun and this will all be over!”

Tommy sighed, carefully setting a hand on Coomer’s shoulder. He was about to try calming the scientist the same way he calmed the guards, when Coomer’s hand brushed him off roughly. Tommy caught his wrist, large hand wrapped easily around.

“Coomer, I’m trying to help!”

“It’s _Doctor_ Coomer,” he snapped, trying to wrench his hand back at the sudden ice in Tommy’s eyes.

“No, it’s not.”

Tommy loomed, fangs bared and hair brushing the ceiling tiles as he trapped the little man against the wall.

“Coomer doesn’t have a pulse in his wrists, _Epsilon_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> 154 minutes


	18. theres one imposter among the crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not dead, i just was so stumped and kept rewriting this chapter because it felt weird every time. i just want to write the next one so...

“Damn, I hoped you’d be as stupid as Breen was.”

Tommy jerked back as the subject morphed, thick stature twisting to bony and thin. It yanked its hand back, thick nails scraping Tommy’s palm as it distorted. Tommy kept it cornered as it rasped, bracing himself for a fight with his hand hovering over his weapon.

“Jesus, back up a bit. Your breath’s making my asthma act up.”

Tommy studied the skin melting into place on its face, searching for any sign of the creature bolting. It watched his eyes, twitching, scowling right back. Thin cheeks and a sharp chin hollowed out from Coomer’s round face, large bright eyes shrinking to beady black and cold. Smiling wrinkles vanished, smoothing out but making the face age further as the bags under its eyes deepened. The Epsilon subject shuddered, pulling the lab coat closed and wrapping its arms around itself.

“What did you do to Coomer?” He snarled, large hand digging into the subject’s shoulder. It winced, glancing away.

“Nothing any worse than what  _ you _ were going to do to  _ me. _ ”

He felt the blood drain from his face, grip tightening and making the experiment shriek.

“He’s fine! Let go! I’ll take you to him if you want, just let go!” It pawed at his hand, huffing in irritation when Tommy’s hold only shifted to its arm. He heard its chest rattle in fear when he lowered himself to its level, glowing yellow meeting its dark eyes. Cloth tore and sticky green welled up from under his nails when he yanked the subject forward, teeth bared.

“You better fucking  _ hope _ Coomer’s feeling more forgiving than me.”

He let it go, doing his best to not wince as it ripped away from him and braced against the wall.

“Take me to Coomer. Now.”

It shuffled back towards the depths with a grumble. The subject cradled its arm as it walked, scowling at the pricks of green leaking from the holes in the coat. It twisted to glare up at Tommy, baring teeth that looked far too close to his own.

“You didn’t have to squeeze so tight. I already said I would.”

Tommy fiddled with one of the sleeves tied around his waist. He didn’t want to look at it anymore. “...I’m not going to apologize until we find Coomer.”

“We don’t have to find him, I know exactly where he is. Safe. I didn’t want to hurt  _ him _ . What kind of person do you take me for?”

“A desperate one.”

They walked in silence for several minutes. Tommy concentrated on watching the Epsilon for any sudden movements. He was so focused that he tripped over a fallen ceiling tile, stumbling on unfamiliar terrain. He didn’t remember this hall. “Where are you- this better be the way to Coomer.”

It didn’t answer, freezing in place.

“Hey kid. Are you sure you took out all the electricity on this level?”

“Um, well, there’s some emergency power still. The ones that were isolated from the outage sensor. Since the sensor has a current, it… probably fried.”

The subject broke into a dead sprint, nails clacking on the tile and already huffing with exertion. Tommy paused only long enough to let it get a head start. It's ripped lab coat had only just vanished around the corner when Tommy dropped to all fours and chased. He caught up so quickly that he almost stepped on the subject, barely slowing down in time to avoid turning the Epsilon subject into a green blooded smear. It looked up at him in panic, waving its arms.

“We,” pant, “have to get,” pant, “him out of,” pant, “the tube! It’s on auxiliary power but it’ll only last for an hour since the blackout-”

Tommy suddenly found it hard to breathe, but not because of the running. He grabbed it by the shoulders, shaking the Epsilon subject. “You put him in a  _ tube? _ He’s human, and half  _ mechanical! _ We’ve- we’ve wasted time- from the outage, we gotta- took too long to-”

“Twenty minutes. I know a better way, down here, to the left- 

Tommy shoved his way past the subject. It stumbled and tripped on flat flooring trying to keep up. He knocked against door frames and walls in his mad sprint, barely listening to the directions that the subject called out. The remaining emergency lights burst as they passed. Red glass cascaded down and made the Epsilon yelp in pain when the hot shards met skin.

It screeched when it ran into him, completely unprepared for the sudden stop.

“Move your lanky ass and open the damn door already!”

“I can’t.”

“What do you  _ mean _ you can’t!? It’s  _ your _ friend in there!”

The subject backpedaled at the sudden glare from the scientist. It peered past the growing form, ashy skin draining all remaining color in the low light.

“I didn’t do that.”

_ “Yes, _ you did.  _ You’re _ the one who caused the containment.” Tommy didn’t have to turn to see the Epsilon flinch at the cold tone. He had enough eyes on it to keep track of the shifting subject, and enough to study the collapsed hallway. There was no digging through, as far as he could tell. The caved in ceiling and sparking wires were already a hindrance. If it weren’t for the busted pipes pouring a poisonously green solution over the fallen chunks of cement, Tommy would chance trying to squeeze between the broken wall and ruined support beams.

And if he wasn’t so  _ big _ .

Right. If he calmed down, he would get smaller, it’s what he helped Benrey through just about every other day, he could do it.

He could do it, if his breathing would just slow down and his heart would stop racing and his blood would stop pounding in his ears and the world would just stop for a moment.

_ How did Benrey make it look so easy?  _ Tommy jumped when he noticed the nails digging into his thighs, looking up at the epsilon subject from where he’d curled up on the floor. He followed its stare to his hands, freezing with a hitch in his breath. The claws that had been slowly overtaking his fingertips glowed a dull yellow against the greying skin. He hissed, shoving his hands under his arms and glaring up at the subject.

“Stop- stop looking, you don’t-”

“How old are you, kid? Twenty?”

“Sixteen, I- I think. I don’t know.”

It crossed its arms, sharp teeth chewing on its lip in a mirror of Tommy’s anxious tic.

“Shit. I’m no good with kids, not much of a chance to interact with them, but for what it’s worth… you’re too young to be dealing with this shit. You should get out while you still can, before they take away anything left that makes you human. Get some sunlight and eat some food, you skinny pale bastard.”

Tommy latched onto the insult, pushing away the horribly familiar feeling at the subject’s words. “You’re one to talk! You’re lighter than me!”

It flashed a pointed grin, popping the collar on its shredded coat. “Yeah, but I make it look good, and I’m about to make it look even better.”

Tommy furrowed a brow, loosening the hold on his legs. “That makes no sense, there’s- it’s weight, not an article of clothing.”

“Whatever. It means I can get through the vents where you can’t. No need to dig to the door. Boost me up to the grate, and I’ll get your buddy out of the tube while you go the long way, back around and through the emergency exit. I’ll let you in from my side.”

The vents. Right. They would lead right to Coomer, if he was even really in there.

But they also lead to the rest of the ventilation, and outside.

“How can I trust you?”

“What, you want a pinky promise?”

They had seven minutes before the power would run out, and the human wouldn’t be able to breathe. He knew well enough there was no love lost between subject and scientist. Tommy stood up, blinking in surprise as the subject was a lot less tiny to him. “I… no. I guess I just will.”

The stormy look gave way to shock before the subject walked to stand under the vent entrance. “Well, get a move on! He’s not getting any less in danger.”

Tommy nodded, reaching up to pull the grate off with a nasty screech. He knelt down, interlocking his hands to give the shorter subject the much needed boost. Its nails scrabbled on the metal as it pulled itself up, twisting around to shoot Tommy one last look.

“See you on the other side, Coolatta.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not counting rewrites? 103 minutes.  
> counting rewrites? i don't know, i lost track after around 13 hours /j


	19. getting peepaw outta da got dang tube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild body horror, of the non-alien variety this time. if you don't want to read it, you can skip from "The subject grimaced." (beginning of a paragraph) to "The subject didn't need any fanfare." (first single sentence, after the 3 skipped paragraphs.)

Of course they knew their way through the vents. This wasn't the subject's first rodeo, though they hadn't ever actually been to a rodeo. It was a phrase they heard one of the scientists say, and it was a good word. They rather liked the way it sounded.

They dug their claws into the seams of the vent wall, pulling themselves up and into the main duct. Closing their eyes for a moment, they tried to reorientate themself. They never headed _back_ to the tube. 

It took a while, but finally their claws scraped against a grate. Oh, good, no more work would have to be done for this part. It was already loose. They wiggled around, sticking their legs out and stretching down as far as they could towards the floor. A few feet short, if they were right about which grate this was. They could do this. It was just a little drop. Sure, it would be jarring, but if they hung by their fingertips, they could take about two feet off the fall. All they had to do was climb out and drop.

They clenched their teeth. These scientists better fucking appreciate the sacrifice here. They let go, braced for contact with the floor and still not expecting it. If only they could get some shoes, preferably ones with suspension so that every landing wasn’t so painful on their legs. Well, it wasn’t their main focus, so they could put it on the later list for now. They shrugged it off as best as they could, shuffling forwards and brushing off their lab coat. Now for the easy part.

The subject approached the control panel for the doors, tapping in the access code easier than they breathed. _Idiots didn't ever change it,_ they scoffed.

Their eyebrows raised in confusion as the sliding door didn’t slide. The doors were on a separate circuit from the rest of the floor, just in case of a blackout so that no one was trapped. Which meant-

The idiots _did_ change it.

This was fine.

They turned around, glancing at the containment tube with the man inside. The buttons were stretched across a wide counter, and the two to open the tube were at opposite ends. No chance of the subject coercing someone into letting them out, since a single person couldn’t hit both at the same time.

The subject grimaced. Good thing they weren’t the kind of person the safety measures helped. It didn’t mean that it was _comfortable_ . That Tommy kid made it look easy, but only if it was the same for everyone else. They took a deep, rattling breath. The doctor they’d replaced, Coomer, had a good starting point at the very least. Thick arms slimmed down as the subject stretched out. Their back popped a few times, straight posture dropping to the comfortable slouch as their mass shifted. As long as they didn’t stretch _too_ far this time, and not too quickly, the human looking muscles they worked so hard to create would stay intact.

Something as tall as Tommy should work. They glance down at the floor, trying to judge the distance. They had enough balance to hit one button with their foot and the other with a hand. The subject put a finger on the closer one, kicking a leg up onto the counter in preparation.

No, still too short. This is why they wanted Tommy in the room. They glanced up at the tube, eyes narrowing at the blinking red light. Yeah, stasis was imminent, they got the memo. They could see the glass piping filling up with liquid in preparation. One more push should do it, they didn’t need four fingers to hit a button, just one. They scooted over, and tried once more. _Eugh. There goes my nails,_ they shuddered. Not even the subject liked to see the shifting. A bone cracked as they twisted, joints making sharp pops in protest. Right. Joints. Those took more effort to keep stable. They just needed distance, not accuracy. The tip of what was left of their hand grazed the blue plastic.

The subject didn’t need any fanfare. 

They sighed as they collapsed behind the counter, letting go of the form and retracting back to a smaller shape. They listened to the tube hiss, alarms beeping in warning as it depressurized. Stretching took too much energy, and changing shape took more. Tommy shouldn’t mind too much if they just took a little break, just to catch their breath. Just until they could remake their hand.

It was quiet for a while, before they heard glass crunch under someone’s feet.

“Are you okay down there?”

That didn’t sound like Tommy.

Their eyes shot open, body protesting as they sat up. The scientist stood over them, eyebrows raised in question. Well, looks like that kid was right in a way. Coomer _did_ have a concussion after all, by the way he was leaning on the control panel. The subject took the chance to hide their arm, squinting up in the faint light from the tube’s warning lights.

“Yeah.” They fell back, throwing their full arm over their eyes to block the scientist from view. They felt bad enough without having to see his face. Might as well get it over with and crawl back in the tube. They didn’t think they could beat Coomer in a fair fight.

“Is the containment over already?”

Or maybe Coomer didn’t know who he was talking to. They lifted their arm to study him. The man was swaying, and that kid said something about memory loss. It seemed about right. Maybe they wouldn’t get turned to a green smear on the floor today. Maybe they’d even get taken along for a bit. It would at least be funny.

“...Sure.”

“Excellent! Well, if everything’s over, it’s time to head back. I sure hope we didn’t miss dinner. I’m Dr. Coomer, and you are?”

Oh fuck. They didn’t think this far ahead.

“I, uh-”

The scientist leaned in close, reading the nametag sewn onto the lab coat.

“Bubbie. That’s an interesting last name.”

“Huh?”

They glanced down at their designation, smeared with green and ash. Their hand, back to normal after a concentrated effort, rubbed off some of the dirt.

13v1.3β1ε

“Your coat tag! It says Bubbie! 

Did Coomer need glasses? 

“That’s not a name.”

His brow furrowed, looking confused. Ah. Well. They could let the scientist believe it was. “It’s uh, it’s Bubby or whatever. Sure. Let’s get going. You probably need a doctor.”

They sat up with a groan, then a yelp as cold metal wrapped around their wrist. Coomer yanked the subject to their feet, grinning all the while. They narrowed their eyes at the short scientist, hunched over to meet him eye to eye.

“Next time you grab me, I’m going to bite your fucking hand off.”

“I doubt it. Now quit your bitching and get to hitching. We’ve got a tidy hike back up to the checkpoint, and the only pitstop we’re making is to swing by and grab Tommy!”

They shot up like a rocket. “Fuck! Tommy!”

“Now, whatever quarrel you have-”

“I didn’t let him in! Quick, what’s the damn code down here?” They sprinted to the exit, whipping off the cover of the keypad. They turned to repeat the question, confused for a moment as they didn’t see Coomer.

“Dr. Coom-?”

_CRUNCH_.

They recoiled at the squeal of metal, watching in awe as the scientist pulled his hand from the doors and presented the dead bolt with a grin.

“You don’t need a code when you have fists, Professor Bubby!”

“Actually, I’m not-”

“You’re wearing a professor’s coat, aren’t you?” Coomer ignored their sigh, wedging his hands into the hole and beginning to pull the doors apart. The subject’s hands clasped over their ears as the rails protested the movement.

“Christ, do you do _anything_ quietly!?”

“I can throttle you quietly!”

They were just about to roll their eyes when another call made them jump.

“Dr. Coomer! You’re okay!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 127 minutes, if you don't count the endless hours of practicing writing bubby and coomer together....


	20. why are there punji pits in tony hawk: pro skater?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short blurb with the ex-lab partners

“Do you think they’re okay?”

Forzen looked up from the screen, narrowly avoiding steering the low res skateboarder into a punji pit. “Which one? Containment team or Benrey?”

Darnold finally stopped pacing to drop next to him. “Either. Both. Benrey was really shaken up, and Tommy should’ve been back by now. You don’t think he’s hurt, do you?”

Forzen scoffed, drawing his feet up onto the couch. “Nope. Nothing can hurt Tommy. He’s fine.”

The scientist chewed his lip, then his nails. Forzen swatted at his hand, dropping the controller into Darnold’s lap.

“Here. Distract yourself or something. Stop worrying about Tommy. There’s nothing we can do, and he’s literally superhuman. Superalien. He’s not going to get hurt, because nothing can hurt him. He’s too strong. Besides, he has that mind control thing he can do. The safest place in the whole facility is with him.”

“You’re worried too.”

Forzen glared over at him, scooting closer to the arm of the couch and swinging his legs into Darnold’s lap. “Yeah, and? It’s not gonna help. Start skating.”

Darnold thumbed the analogues, letting Tony Hawk run into a railing. “Containment’s usually over quick. You think there was something like them that got out? Or more than one? It’s been a few hours, maybe they’re in danger.”

“Darnold, I’m going to shut you up if you don’t stop talking about it because I’m about to freak out and I don’t think you want that to happen.”

He side eyed his friend, almost smiling. “Oh really? How would  _ you _ shut me up? I’m bigger than you.”

Forzen scowled harder, crossing his arms. “I’m stronger than you.”

Darnold giggled, nearly dropping the controller from another burst at Forzen’s face. “You couldn’t lift Sunkist’s  _ paw _ if you tried! You’re like a hundred pounds soaking wet!” 

Forzen pulled his feet back, and Darnold assumed that would be the end of it.

He was wrong.

His field of vision abruptly changed from the cheap graphics on screen to the ceiling and Forzen’s reddened face, and his arm was definitely going to be bruised because-

“Did you just tackle me!? Off the couch!?”

“ _ Told _ you I’m stronger than you! And taller!”

Darnold couldn’t fight him off, he was laughing too hard. The petty teen sat up, still disgruntled, and snatched the controller back. “Fine. If you’re going to be rude, I’ll just play Pro Skater by myself.”

Forzen made his way through three missions before Darnold tapped his side.

“You’re sitting on my stomach.”

“I know.” He stayed focused on the game, managing a flip before jumping on a rail.

“Can you move?”

“Are you going to walk in circles again?”

Darnold folded his hands on his chest and turned to watch the skater slide. “Hey, thanks.”

Forzen mumbled, not looking down. “Sure. Whatever. Don’t know what you’re even thanking me for.”

“You’re a good distraction. It’s nicer to have, um, a friend around.”

The game was paused, Forzen bouncing the cord connecting to the console. It was a lot quieter without the blaring ska music. He finally seemed to gather his courage, giving Darnold a look.

“Yeah. You’re distracting too. Thanks.”

Sunkist huffed in the corner, and the clock on Tommy’s wall ticked twenty four times before Darnold felt like he could catch his breath.

“Great. Now get off me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 52 minutes!


	21. peepaws got places to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> split in 2 for pacing reasons

“Dr. Coomer, hold on! Oh god, I’m glad you’re okay!”

The subject winced at the worry in the teen’s tone. They didn’t  _ mean _ to leave him in the dark, but it’s not like they could just open the door by themself.

“Of course I’m okay, Tommy! You, however, seem to be quite rattled. Just a moment, and you’ll be able to tell me all about it!” He shuffled over to the side, holding the metal apart just enough for his new companion to slip through. Coomer squeezed past after, feet barely on the ground before being swept up.

The man wheezed as Tommy tightened his hold, legs swinging far above the cracked tile. Coomer glanced up at the anxious face. His eyebrows raised at the multitude of eyes peering back. “Oh, hello, Tommy! My, how you’ve grown since I’ve last seen you. You’re, what, eleven feet now? Maybe you can try out for the Black Mesa variety sports team! Is this what the teens call puberty these days? I thought it took longer than… how long was I in there?”

Tommy’s mouth opened, but all that came out was a gurgle of relief as he swayed with Coomer in his grip. It was like a massive toddler holding a teddy bear, they thought, if the teddy bear’s metal joints creaked and he had a mustache. Coomer’s face was starting to turn color. The subject waved up at Tommy, trying to get his attention.

“Hey. I don’t think he can breathe.” The subject tapped his arm, drawing all those eyes down onto them. “You should probably let him go.”

“Tommy, Professor Bubby is right! I cannot breathe! Could you let me go a little bit?”

“Nevermind. Squeeze him tighter. He’s still talking.”

Tommy’s eyes widened, before the left half squinted at the subject, shortly followed by the right. He set Coomer down, leaning back against the wall and copying the older scientist in taking deep breaths. The subject watched the horns recede with the height, Tommy’s hands losing the glowing yellow, and the black withdrew to the nails. One moment, there were many eyes. The next, there were only six. Tommy still had to look down at them, he was naturally tall, but when he opened his mouth to speak the thick sharp teeth were gone.

“Are you okay, Dr. Coomer? For sure?”

“Absolutely!”

Tommy glanced over at the subject, narrowing his eyes. “Can I, um, talk to.... Professor Bubby, for a moment, uh, alone?”

“If you’re concerned about me leading an uprising amongst the clones, you’re free to discuss battle plans in front of me! I might even be able to give you pointers. I have no known weaknesses!” Coomer smiled good naturedly, starting down the hall. The two watched him go, one with worry, the other with fear.

“There’s  _ more!?” _ The subject shuddered. “One Coomer is  _ enough, _ thank you very much.”

“He wasn’t like this before. Did the tube run out of power before you got there? And why is he calling you  _ Bubby? _ ” Tommy kept his voice lowered, knowing exactly how good Coomer’s hearing was.

The subject crossed his arms, scowling up at the teen. “I got him out in time. I haven’t heard a ‘thank you’ yet. Do you have any idea how stressful it is for me to change so much in one day? You scientists make everything so damn difficult to open!”

That was true. Tommy shook his head, brows furrowed and averting his four eyes in embarrassment.

“Thank you. Even if you caused all this in the first place, you  _ did _ help and… you didn’t really do it without reason. So thanks. I’ll… find a way to pay you back for it.”

They nodded. “You’re welcome. I don’t think he can see well. He thinks my designation tag says Bubby, and he thinks I’m wearing a ‘professor’s coat’, whatever that is. Sorry about that. I think I hit him harder than I knew. You were right about the concussion. Definitely confused.”

Tommy glanced at where Coomer was picking his way across shattered tiles, watching him waver. “Yeah, we should get him back up to the checkpoint.”

“We?”

“Well, the containment’s over, isn’t it? I thought you’d come with us. Where else would you go?” Tommy tilted his head, pulling to mind a big dog cocking its head.

They hesitated.  _ The tube, _ they knew. That was where Black Mesa wanted them. They knew it. Tommy knew it. They brushed off some of the ash on their lab coat, fixing the collar, fighting the lump in their throat.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t trip.”

Tommy turned to go help the doctor, but paused to look back at the subject. “Do you… like the name? I mean. What Coomer called you. You didn’t correct him.”

Well, they didn’t have any better ideas. “Yeah. I like it more than Epsilon.”

“Alright, Bubby. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 97 meenoots


	22. the end of a very, very long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 108 minutes (yeah, at the beginning of the chapter this time. youll see why.)

Tommy squinted in the sudden light, barely catching Coomer as the man stumbled into him. As soon as his vision cleared, he slid in front of Bubby, blocking the subject from the pointed tranquilizers.

The B4R guards stood stock still even as Tommy waved them down. “Easy! It’s fine! Containment over!”

He glanced around quickly, catching sight of a slightly more familiar face. “Barney, it’s okay. I wouldn’t lie to you. I promised it would all be okay. I took care of the problem.”

Their face brightened at being recognized. They were the first to lower their gun, followed shortly by the others.

“Oh, Dr. Coola- uh, Tommy. You… didn’t check in. It took a long time. We were getting ready to go on in after you.”

Tommy’s stomach twisted. He knew how terrified the guards were just standing outside the labs. He stepped forward, passing Coomer’s leaning figure onto Bubby as the other guards closed in to check them over. A careful hand rested on Barney’s shoulder, and they relaxed without Tommy prodding the anxious guard.

“Thank you, Barney. I know you have to answer if they ask. I’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble for it.”

Barney nodded, holstering his gun and pulling out his PDA. “I’ll call the sweepers?”

“Thanks. Again. Yeah. Can someone get Coomer to the medical department? I… need to get back.”  _ And figure out what to do with Bubby. _ Maybe he could pull another Benrey. His dad was reasonable, and Bubby was smart. He’d make a good scientist. Tommy hazily plotted, turning in the containment gear and struggling with his lab coat. He only noticed Bubby following when the subject- no, ex-subject now- cursed at catching a sleeve on a door handle.

Oh.

Right.

“I, um, don’t know much about you. Or, well, what you eat or if you sleep. I can offer a dorm room, at least for now, even if it’s made for just a regular human. I find them nice, I mean. You know I’m not. Yeah. And for food, I keep snacks, for Benrey and Darnold and Forzen. So I have chips and some fruit.”

Bubby quirked a brow, studying the swaying teen. “Are you sure you can even make it back to  _ your _ dorm?”

Tommy nodded. “I’ve done more on less. Let’s go, before I forget where I’m going, yeah?”

  
  


Forzen had really soft hair, even if most of it was buzzed short. He had soft breaths too, just barely there while he slept. Darnold was getting a lot of experience ignoring it. The other boy grumbled as Darnold tensed from the game, but settled back down when Darnold leaned back into the couch. He slept on, completely unaware of his high score being obliterated by the chemist. Darnold pretended to not be very good at video games, because he didn’t care to compete. He just really liked crushing Forzen’s achievements.

It had been a few hours since Benrey had left, and a bit longer since Tommy was called down. Darnold fought to stay awake. It had been a long day with his online classes, even longer with his experiments, and there was only so much caffeine would do. He managed to quicksave before sinking into the cushions, eyelids drooping. Forzen’s head started to slide off his shoulder. Darnold readjusted him, his head ending up on his lap as they pulled their feet up unconsciously. Soft ska played on while the controller slipped out of his hands, and he finally gave in.

  
  


Tommy swiped the card one more time, sighing in relief as the light finally turned green and the door unlocked.

“Come on, all the other rooms in this hall are empty. You can pick any of them. They’ve got a bed, a table, a chair, um, some other stuff I think. I can grab you some clothes, to sleep in. The shower’s on the other side of the wall, from the closet, they’re the same side of the room, and… you’ll see. Mine’s in the middle. Benrey’s across the hall.” Tommy waved his hand, passing through and starting down the hallway.

Bubby rolled their eyes. “Right. Your clothes will fit  _ me. _ Sure.”

Tommy groaned. “Fuck’s sake, not you too. They’re not supposed to fit! They’re just supposed to be clean!”

Bubby started to snicker, hand coming up to cover their mouth. They weren’t successful at all at covering the laughter. “Can’t wait to meet them.”

Tommy threw his arms in the air, opening his door and gesturing for Bubby to stay. He crept past the couch and glowing screen, stepping over the displaced coffee table and crouching at his dresser to pull out some clean pajamas. Heading back towards the hall, he glanced at the still figures on the couch. He pulled out his modified PDA, pointing the camera at them. A quiet click interrupted the game music, and he shoved it back in his pocket before slinking back out. The door shut silent behind him. The tension drained from Tommy’s shoulders, and he handed a pair of clothes to Bubby.

“Here. There’s sheets, towels, and soap in each room, so it doesn’t matter which one you pick. You can clean up now.”

Bubby grinned, taking them. “Was that your boyfriend in there?”

Tommy flushed, scowling. “No. And even if either of them was, it’s not your business.”

The ex-subject shrugged, unbothered. “Boyfriends plural, then. It probably will be, since we’re neighbors now. I gotta know when to lock my door so none of you try talking to me.”

He was far too tired for this. “I bet they used you as the base to make Benrey. You two have the same shitty sense of humor, and the same, um, naming skills. So, goodnight, Bubby. I’m going to bed. If you wake me up, use your imagination.”

He stepped back in, ignoring the muffled cackle and crossing the room as quietly as he could to reach his bathroom. Hot water muddled his thoughts, and the dim light upon exiting didn’t wake him up any further. It seemed that he wasn’t as quiet as he thought, though.

Forzen was sitting on the edge of his seat, blearily staring at the TV. He glanced up at Tommy, a quick smile forming.

“Hey,” he mumbled.

“You guys could’ve gone home, you know,” he whispered back.

“Uncle’s not home, and Darnold didn’t wanna leave me with Benrey. He’s cranky when he’s tired, man.” Forzen stood up, shaking Darnold’s arm to wake him up.

“Oh, hi Tommy. Sorry for crashing, didn’t mean to overstay…”

Tommy shook his head. “No, it’s fine, you can just sleep over, then, I’ll, um, get you some clothes. To sleep.”

“Really? Y-”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve already heard it. Do you want them or not?”

Both nodded, and both took turns in the bathroom to change. Forzen came out stretching, dropped his clothes on the couch and took a running leap onto the bed.

“Alright, sleepover at Tommy’s! Let’s go! I’m fucking cold!”

Tommy rolled his eyes but climbed in, draping one of his blankets across his shoulders and holding the sides open for the other two to tuck themselves in on each side. Darnold complied with a laugh, and with a whistle, Sunkist finally rose from the dog bed to jump on the overcrowded mattress. Forzen stole an extra blanket, fought with Sunkist for his legs to be free, and curled up much more pleased with himself than he had any right to be.

Tommy was glad that they knew just when he needed contact. It made it a lot harder to feel alone.

It made it a lot easier to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, readers. My update rate slowed down a lot since I started, despite this being a "speedrun".  
> That's because I'm really trying to write a story that won't disappoint. I didn't actually expect anyone to read my writing, much less all of you leaving kudos and comments. Thank you all again, it really means a lot.  
> When I started, I didn't plot, or plan, or really read back beyond a quick scan for typos. Now I'm putting down lines and important beats, and trying not to write too many holes while setting up to keep most of the canon story possible. This is the first long piece I ever even thought about posting, because I expected to have my story skipped over for better writers. I had no faith in my work being noticed unless people got desperate for content.  
> So it really does mean more than you think.  
> Even if I only had one reader, it would still mean a lot to me. Every kudos and comment, even though I haven't replied to them all yet, are all reasons to keep writing. I'm really intent on giving you readers the story I think you deserve and that I like to write. I deal with a lot of obstacles to be able to tell this story, even as slow as it's been lately.  
> INFAY is the first time I've been genuinely excited to share something I've made with strangers. It was the first time I had real pride in my work. I say it because I mean it.
> 
> Thank you, really, for reading.


	23. tommy just cant catch a break, sorry bout that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the comments, i sobbed over every single one and my brother laughed at me

He woke slowly, to warm weight and soft snores. Sunkist covered his legs like always, but the quiet huff and gentle thump of her tail weren’t normal. Normally, Tommy had to fight her off in the mornings. She was perfect, so she always got him up in time for breakfast before heading to the labs.

Not today. Good. Tommy was too tired to go to work. Tommy carefully pulled a hand out from under the covers to scratch her ears. “Good dog, Sunkist.”

Getting his arm back in was going to be a lot more difficult. Now that Tommy was awake and could see in the dim room, Sunkist must have turned on the bathroom light sometime in the night, there was a blindingly obvious reason why he was so warm. Cast in shadow as they were, he couldn’t make out the expressions but there was no mistaking his friends. Darnold was tucked under his arm, head resting on his chest and fist clenching Tommy’s shirt. Forzen almost mirrored him, but instead had thrown his arm across as if trying to hug them both. Tommy’s hand hovered over Forzen’s shoulder, hesitating. What if one of them woke up because he moved?

Tommy’s face was just as warm as the rest of himself. There was no extracting himself from the tangle. This was where he would die if no one else got up.

Not that he minded, but he was starting to get hungry.

He cast a glance at his company calendar. His dad gave it to him when he asked how everyone knew what day it was. That was a while ago. It had enough pages left for another year, Tommy thought. It was Saturday, because the containment was yesterday, and he'd gone to bed without crossing off Friday. Or the containment was very early this morning, and no one had crossed off Friday once it was over. The further down in Black Mesa he went, the harder it was to tell time. He looked to his company clock. Another useful item from his dad. It was past twelve, which probably meant he'd slept enough, and Benrey would be getting up around now. 

He should really check on Benrey.

He didn’t want to wake up Forzen and Darnold.

Benrey would be fine for a little bit longer.

Benrey was not fine. In fact, he hadn’t been fine for a while. Was Freeman okay? Would she remember him this time? He hesitated, hand on the door. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, and he didn’t know how long he’d been awake. Tommy would usually come check on him, that’s how he knew it was morning. 

Benrey missed sleeping in the park. He missed being outside. The stagnant air of his room had been recycled so many times that he could probably tell it apart from the hallway just by how fresh it would seem. His room was too small, and too still, and the Voice splattered on the walls had faded away to leave the space cool grey and white. It wasn’t unbearable, but it definitely sucked.

He just needed to step out for a bit.

Benrey grabbed a towel and his bar of soap. It was his in particular, because the others he tried made his skin hurt, and Tommy had to get it special just for him. He looked down at his clothes, scowling. No, he wasn’t wearing them after he got clean. They’d had Voice on them, and even if it had faded away, it still felt weird. Besides, they’d been stretched out and would probably fall off at the rate he’d been changing size. It wasn’t like Benrey had many options, though. He casted a glance at the sheets on the bed.

They kind of reminded him of Freeman’s dress.

Benrey wandered down the hall, grinning. His hair was getting longer, enough that the ends brushed his shoulders when he shrugged. The sheets felt nice as well, one folded over and wrapped around to make a long skirt and one over his shoulders like a cape. Benrey was feeling a  _ lot _ better. For the first time in a while he was actually hungry. Sure, he didn’t  _ need _ to eat, his summer outside had taught him that, but with a nice fancy badge that let him roam the facility, how could he resist a trip to the cafeteria? He hummed, light teal drifting behind as he headed towards the big door.

Or, he would, if there wasn’t a scientist in his way.

Benrey growled, dropping to all fours to stay at eye level with the threat. The cape he’d made fell to the ground, crumpled and shoved back. He bared his teeth, letting his mouth hang open once he realized that his canines wouldn’t fit back in. Thick claws scraped against the floor as he braced himself to fight.

The scientist didn’t pull a weapon, or advance.

Actually, they screamed.

A door behind Benrey slammed open, making the creature jump.

“Benrey!”

A small tug pulled on his leg as he ignored Tommy. He took a step forward, all four hands braced against walls and floor. Horns scraped against the ceiling as he crouched, blocking Tommy from the danger.

_ “BENREY!” _

His chest met the ground as something slammed into his back. Confused, he twisted around, half of his eyes staying on the terrified scientist.

The creature that loomed over him glowed in patches. Black nails as long as his teeth pinned his shoulders down, and a long feather tipped tail lashed against the wall. No, not feathers. Barbs. Spines arched from the back, long and sharp and dark. Where Benrey’s horns twisted, the other’s four curved back into sleek points. 

This creature was a lot more dangerous than Benrey, even if he didn’t know instinctively that the radioactive yellow dripping from its maw was venomous. Dozens of slit pupils glared down, from its forehead to the base of its serpentine neck. Another pair of arms, with fewer fingers on the hands, poked out from under the- shirt?

Benrey froze, eyes flicking rapidly between Tommy and the threat.

He growled out an explanation, pointing at the intruder.

“Benrey,  _ no. _ Leave Bubby alone.” Tommy’s mouth had long fangs, much smaller than Benrey’s, but the gleaming toxin signalled a deadlier bite. He towered over Benrey, unwavering.

Benrey whined, knowing that even if Tommy understood, he wouldn’t relent. He looked back up at his friend, noticing that some of the eyes had shifted away. They were looking behind, back where two figures stood in Tommy’s doorway

Darnold was ashen, gaping at Benrey, hands shaking, glancing at the scientist on the ground.

Forzen was starry eyed, grinning and fists clenched, ready to start cheering on Tommy.

Benrey didn’t want to fight. After a few deep breaths, the weight on his back grew before lifting entirely. The sheet he’d thrown dropped over his head, making him snort. Right. Tommy didn’t like when people didn’t wear clothes, even if it was so much easier. It didn’t take long for Benrey to redress, cape once again wrapped around his shoulders. He looked down at the scientist still on the floor, squinting at them.

“Why are  _ you _ here? This isn’t a lab.”

They bristled. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused. Bye.”

“Stop that.” It seemed to be all Tommy could say for the moment, eyes scrunched tight and upper hands running through his wild mane. The tail coiled around his feet as Tommy slouched, lower arms braced against the floor. Benrey stared at his friend’s form, studying it. Somehow, Tommy’s legs had gotten even longer, as if he wasn’t ridiculously tall in the first place. He was balanced on his toes, or, at least, what Benrey thought were toes. It was hard to tell, because it looked a lot like how Sunkist’s legs bent, if Sunkist also wore shorts.

“Tommy, why aren’t you turning back?”

“I’m  _ trying _ to. How did you do it so fast?”

“Just do. And I didn’t get it all gone yet.” Benrey shrugged, shuffling his cape around. His second set of hands waved. “Besides, I already did it earlier today. You just gotta think about how you’re supposed to look.”

Tommy scowled, claws digging in. He jumped at a slight pressure on his hip, looking down at Darnold leaning on him.

“Would Sunkist help? I told her to stay in the room.”

Tommy nodded, dropping down to crawl on his hands towards his room. Benrey watched him go, followed by the two humans. Just before the end of the barb-tipped tail was dragged in, Tommy poked his head out to glare at Benrey.

“Don’t hurt Bubby. Be nice.”

Benrey stuck his tongue out at him and turned back to the scientist. They’d finally stood up, brushing off their clothes. They looked down at him with disdain, leaning back as he squared his shoulders and squinted up at them.

“ _ You _ must be Benrey, then.”

“Tommy said my name, didn’t he?”

Their face pinched, arms crossing. “Do you know  _ my _ name?”

Benrey’s mouth opened, then shut. “Nope. Wanna go get breakfast? I wanna eat. I’m hungry and you’re in my way and both those are gonna get solved if you don’t move.”

“It’s Bubby, you- did you just threaten to  _ eat _ me!?”

Benrey walked right by with a grin. He waved his badge at Bubby, as well as a second card. “Breakfast’s on Tommy. Let’s go.”

Bubby almost fell in shock, quickly falling in step. “Did you grab that from him?”

“Yeah, when he hit me down. Fell outta his pocket. Told Tommy he shouldn’t sleep with it on him. This is why. Could always lose it.” Benrey snickered, swiping his badge across the lock.

“You’re a devious little bastard, aren’t you? I almost hope we share DNA.” Bubby smirked, following Benrey out in the hall. The two ex-subjects shared a look, before breaking into a race.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 176 minutes, babey!!


	24. sorry, just an authors note

hiatus.

i thought i could handle something that happened and i couldn't. infay is making me miserable. i'll come back and write more when i can. it's supposed to have a happy ending.

thanks for reading this far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> i read every comment and thank you so much im so full of embarrassing and sappy emotions they are like kisses directly to my brain  
> if you want to yell at me or ask questions abt something my tumble is @remadra


End file.
